


Dead Backstage

by MercuryHomophony



Series: Behold the Field in Which I store my Headcannons (TAZ) [5]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: I don't know if this will have a happy ending, M/M, Mind Control, Sequel to Feel Free to Submit (Your Resume)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-02
Updated: 2018-01-10
Packaged: 2018-09-06 02:06:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 33,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8730538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MercuryHomophony/pseuds/MercuryHomophony
Summary: Magnus and Merle are not going to let this stand. Kravitz asks for the worst vacation ever. Taako is loving his new job.





	1. Prologue

The Eternal Stockade was not built to be a pleasant place. Quite the opposite, as a matter of fact, since it was built to house the criminal souls of those who would flaunt their attempts at power over the balance of life and death. It stood, a blot on the otherwise absolutely serene horizon, a literal grim reminder of what awaited those who tried to sneak through the barrier.

The inside was not much better - dark, gloomy, and full of whining souls, locked into cells with black iron bars and sturdy wooden doors.

All fake, of course.

That was the thing about the Astral Plane. Everything made here was… well, not an illusion. But it wasn’t real, or corporeal in the way that life was. Things existed because someone said so, and it was so easy to trick souls into believing it too.

Kravitz, on the other hand, had no issue just passing through walls on his way to or from something. If he wanted, he could phase through every obstacle between him and his desk, rather than walk all the way through the twisting corridors of the Stockade. He never did, partially because he didn’t want to give the imprisoned souls any ideas. A larger part was that he sometimes missed thinking things were real, something that had bit him in the ass when Legion had reared its head, and he’d been too stunned to recall that he could just phase out of the Stockade (not the best looking item on his yearly review). But sometimes, he liked to pretend that the long, skeleton-embedded walls were real brick and mortar, so to speak, rather than the enigmatic fancy of his goddess and boss, the Raven Queen.

This was why he liked his office so much.

He stepped into the room, closing the door behind him and shrugging his cloak off to hang on the coat rack. The office was sparse - a filing cabinet, that held the names and cases of everyone in the stockade. A desk, with the Book that held his current bounties and potential misdemeanors that could be rectified. And his favorite piece, a small bookshelf.

This was real. So many spiritual leaders preach “You can’t take it with you.” And for most people, that was true. Being the Grim Reaper, however, had its perks, and being able to interact with the material world was one of them.

It was hand carved, by a craftswoman many years ago, who had gambled with him for the life of her spouse. He had, perhaps, not played as well at the game as he could have, and she’d decided thanks were in order. The reliefs carved into the side depicted a dichotomy of life and death, and the spectrum between - wooden vines and flowers at one end, skulls and graves at the other, and faces mixed throughout.

They had died, years ago, but he still saw her soul from time to time, and the woman took great pride in her creation. She seemed exceptionally pleased that he kept it in his office.

He kept his other trinkets on that shelf. There weren’t many of them, but they all held significance, they were all things he wasn’t eager to let go of. Things people had tried to trade to him, in an attempt to win back a loved one. Mementos from particularly interesting bounties. Gifts given in _thanks_ for those rare occurrences of cursed life.

A slightly lopsided vase, made at a little rowdy pottery place on the moon.

There were flowers in it - illusionary ones, since nothing living lasted long in the Astral Plane - but they were nice to look at all the same. And if he happened to look up and see the vase when he was working, and if it happened to bring a small, self-indulgent smile to his face, or a flutter to his chest, well… he figured he deserved it. It was a tough job, and little comforts were hard to come by.

But that was where he was now, sitting at his desk across the room from the bookshelf, scribbling and scratching at the text in his book. He’d covered two tricky bounties this week - no small feat, even if they’d come more easily than he’d expected. The Lich had evaded him for some time, but came quietly when he was finally cornered, and the girl had come willingly once he’d convinced her that she was, in fact, dead. It would be nice to lighten up the Book, and as he finished his notes about each bounty, he watched as their names and stories faded from the pages.

If he looked in the filing cabinet, he knew they’d be there. It was a lot handier to just keep in-progress cases in the book.

He set the book down, and it started to flip through its pages at random. After a few moments, it would pick one and let him know what his next target was. Normally, he’d select it himself. There was always work to be done in his job, but selecting case by case could be tedious, and he did like the thrill of some random chance on-

The vase on the bookshelf tipped suddenly, and Kravitz looked up in time to see it crash to pieces on the floor.

The hairs on the back of his neck prickled, and he stood slowly, walking around his desk to investigate. This was the downside to having objects in the Astral Plane, especially ones with emotional significance. Sometimes, they developed a sort of… personality, or symbolism.

And whatever this symbolized, he thought, eying the shattered pottery fragments with a growing sense of unease, it couldn’t be good.

Behind him, the book fell silent, pages falling into place with his new target. He glanced over at it, and if his blood hadn’t already congealed long ago, it might have run cold.

In brisk, formal script, read _Taako Taaco._


	2. Regroup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taako's missing, and those left behind need to figure out why.

It wasn’t an argument they could win with the Director. They were tired, and drained, and couldn’t muster any good excuses to counter her arguments. Wonderland wouldn’t let them back in anyways. So, they had turned away, summoned a glass ball for transport, and returned to the moon.

“We’ll get him back,” she told them, in the silence that weighed on the room as they watched Davenport put the Animus Bell into the Cerebro chamber. “But you two need _rest_ first. And we need to figure out what happened.”

 

_Merle and Magnus looked at each other, then back at the wall of Wonderland, which had started flashing through its black-and-white pattern again._ _“No,” Magnus said, jaw setting. “Fucking_ no _._ _”_

“We won,” Magnus said, exhaustion clear in the lines of his face, the drag of his posture. “And Wonderland fucking took him.”

“So you’ve said.” Lucretia looked between the two of them, that calculating look in her eye. Merle wondered what she was thinking. Was she weighing the cost of pressing the issue now versus letting them go? Or maybe thinking about how her time in Wonderland had gone, and wondering how badly it had affected them.

Maybe she was wondering if they could get by without Taako, and his gut dropped at the thought. But… he knew Lucretia pretty well. She ran a tight ship, but she wasn’t heartless…

But whatever she was thinking, she must have let it drop, because her gaze lost its critical examining look, becoming softer, more understanding. “You boys have been through a lot, these past few days. More than anything most people have to endure. You’ve done a great service to the world, and I promise you, boys: it will not go unrecognized.”

Merle felt some of the tension seep out of him, at that, and heaved a sigh he didn’t know he’d been holding. Next to him, Magnus was a dead weight, having already exhausted all the tension he could earlier.

 

_Magnus had tears streaming down his face, but his teeth were grit together, battle-ax in hand, and he screamed as he landed blow after blow on the immaculate outer wall of Wonderland. Behind him, Merle could only watch - there was no way for him to stop Magnus, he didn_ _’t have any spells left to help, and a sense of helplessness was beginning to settle over him._

_His arm, which had been like dead driftwood all through Wonderland, bloomed bay leaf and cypress._

“I will have some regulator teams do more recon on Wonderland,” Lucretia was saying as Merle tuned back in. “We already have intel, but most of it was for what to expect inside… and we certainly didn’t expect this.” She paused, thinking. “You know…” she started, then shook her head. “You know what, nevermind. You two clearly need rest. In the meantime, we’ll be working as hard as we can to figure out how to get Taako back. When we know more, you’ll be the first to know.” She turned away, clapping her hands together again. “Davenport!”

Immediately, the gnome man reappeared, chirping his name in a solemn “Davenport,” and carrying a tray with three familiar bags and equally familiar tokens.

“Your rewards,” she said, as Davenport presented the tray to them. There was an awkward pause, and she coughed gently. “Taako’s share is there, as well, if you two would like to hold onto it for now.” When neither of them moved, she continued. “Or… we could hold it for you, for when he gets back.”

Merle appreciated her choice of “when” rather than “if” - he liked Lucretia, but sometimes she had a rather bleak point of view. Still, he knew that she would make the full effort to retrieve Taako.

Unfortunately, he knew it was going to be more complicated than the wizard simply “getting back.”

“Thanks, Lucy,” he said, taking the initiative and gabbing his and Taako’s share, before nudging Magnus to grab his. “We’ll hold onto it for him.

She returned his comment with a wan smile. He knew she saw what he was trying to do - they were a lot alike in some respects. Merle was older than the two boys… or, at least, he acted like it. He wasn’t actually sure how old Taako was, but clearly not old enough. Merle was sort of the group dad, and he had to keep an eye out when one of them was feeling low. Likewise, Lucretia had to take care of her own people. They did it in different ways, Lucretia by pushing people to do better, Merle by being a goof, but they did what they could.

“Don’t call me Lucy,” she said, but it lacked the usual bite that came from invoking her nickname to her face, replaced by slight relief of something going normally. “You two get some rest - I need to get things moving here.”

Merle was turning away when Magnus spoke up. “You’ll let us know, though, right?” Magnus asked. “The second you know something?”

She nodded. “I swear. You will be the first to know.”

 

—

 

For the first time in a long time, the filing cabinet in his office was seeing some action. Namely, the action of its drawers being wrenched open and slammed closed as Kravitz became more and more frustrated (and desperate) with his search. The book was where it had been for the last few hours - sitting open on his desk, “Taako Taaco” scrawled across the top of one page. The landscape of the desk around it, however, had changed drastically. Where once there was tidy, open space, with a quill and inkwell in perfect order, there was now plateaus of paper in stacks, and his inkwell was edging dangerously close to the edge of his desk. Noting it perching precariously there, he willed it into nonexistence for the time being, annoyed with how his nerves were getting the best of him.

Finally, he spotted the file he wanted, pulling it from the cabinet and stalking back to his desk, falling into his chair in an aggravated slump, the files joining its fellows on the desk.

It didn’t make sense.

When it first appeared, “Taako Taaco” had glowed mockingly from his book of debts… but nothing else. No image, no death count, no information _at all_ , just his name! He couldn’t remember if he’d ever seen a bounty like it before - what could he even do?

So, he’d started the first place he could - his records. He hadn’t needed to go through them in years. It was rare that a case opened up again, and it was usually repeat offenders. The book gave him the new info, and he generally recalled the rest. But a case like this, with nothing to go on… had he even _collected_ that bounty?

Several hours of digging later, and he had reached this point, stacks of files spread across his desk. It was absolutely baffling. He didn’t remember seeing half of these cases, let alone taking them in. Each one was the same, a name, a blank file… and a completed notice, automatically stamped at the bottom. That was it. Heck, the few names he _did_ recall, cases who had been little league infringers, had blank files as if they had never existed at all.

And now, Taako was one of them.

He knew the elf was in a dangerous line of work. They’d discussed it on their very first not-quite-date, and again on their second okay-this-is-actually-a-date. They both knew this, they both knew that there was a chance that Kravitz would have to show up while Taako was working for… unpleasant reasons. But Istus had spoken to his boss about it, so it wouldn’t have been terrible. There just… might have been a little bit of fudging the numbers.

It might have irritated him, once. But spending more time with Taako, seeing the frank honesty that the elf had around him, versus what he’d seen in the Miller lab… He glanced back over at his bookshelf, just visible from his slumped seat. There was a pile of dust and pottery pieces where a vase used to stand.

He wanted him to be alright.

He might have been worried that he was in too deep, but right now his boss supported it, and as long as things went well, then…

But, things clearly weren’t going well. He flipped through several more files, hoping to find any scrap of information he could. If they had something in common, Kravitz couldn’t see it. He could only infer so much about someone from their name, after all. And they were all _closed_ , despite the fact that he’d never taken them in…

A thought struck him, and he sat up in his chair, reaching for his book. What if there were other, current bounties out like this one? Maybe that would be a bigger clue, might help him figure out what had happened to Taako, and more importantly, where he was _now_ , because his soul had certainly not checked in to the Astral Plane, and if it was in the world at large, it was well shielded. He flipped through the book, making a note of the names that popped up… only a handful. Jessie, James, Arian, Zeraya… A few more, and Taako. All completely blank, all completely useless.

Another dead end. He sunk back into his chair again, thinking. As he did, he fiddled with his Stone of Far-speech, looped in a pendant hanging around his neck. He could try to call again… but no. The last three times, no one had answered. Why would it be different now?

He tapped it to Taako’s frequency, staring down as he debated the issue with himself, whether to call or not… when an idea struck him. He flipped through his book again, landing on one familiar name, then another. “Magnus Burnsides, and Merle Hightower Highchurch,” he read aloud in a murmur. He didn’t have an active bounty on them, not anymore, but after Refuge, he’d kept them in the book. Just to keep an eye on them, of course. And their records, their deaths and circumstances and release from bounty, was all still there.

If there were two people in the world who would know what had happened to Taako, they would be it.

He stood, summoning his suit, skin and scythe, and ripping a hole between planes.

Time to pay a visit to the moon.

 

—

 

Magnus didn’t want to sleep. He wanted his usual routine, Magnus rushes in, armed and ready, meeting whatever enemies he faced head on, taking them out and saving the day. He wanted to get right back into the fray, turn around and go back to Wonderland (he shivered just thinking about _returning_ to that place, but it never occurred to him that not returning was an option), and drag Taako out of that awful place. Every second they spent not rescuing Taako was a second longer that Wonderland had to break him down. He’d seen it first hand, now, how it pushed and prodded and _dug_ at you, until you cracked, then pushed even harder until you were about to break. They’d done their best to keep together, gone with their usual goofs to hold onto those fragmenting pieces of themselves. And they’d succeeded. They’d won.

So why had it taken him?

If he hadn’t been so exhausted, he might have flinched at the thought that followed. ‘Why didn’t I make him go _first_?’

Had it been the bad luck thing? Had they only a limited amount of time to leave, and, whoops! Taako’s curse of bad luck put him last, and it had slammed his escape route shut?

Had they failed some sort of task, lost Taako in forfeit? It seemed unlikely, but given the rules Wonderland played by…

He couldn’t make heads or tails of it. Merle was their wisdom caster, and a magic user to boot - he might have had an idea. But he was busy thinking his own thoughts, and trying to make sure Magnus was still moving. Magnus could appreciate the gesture, even if it wasn’t necessary.

Lucretia was right, after all. They needed rest. Granted, Magnus would be ready to go after one long rest and maybe a few healing spells, but the B.o.B. would be hard pressed to keep him from going back as soon as possible. He couldn’t let Taako spend any more time than absolutely necessary in Wonderland (and he actually allowed himself a small smile, imagining the flak he and Merle were already going to get, for letting him stay in there this long, because they were definitely going to get Taako back, and he’d complain about something one way or the other and they would bear it, because at least he was here and not suffering Istus-knows-what in Wonderland). That place was dangerous enough for him, and he could take a hit. Taako might be a flip-wizard of the highest degree, but a couple good hits-

He cut off that train of thought as quickly as he was able. ‘It won’t happen,’ he told himself firmly as he and Merle reached their common room. He opened the door. ‘Taako will be-’

“Hello,” a rich cockney accent said. He stood in the doorway, frozen, as the dark figure that had been sitting on the couch stood up. Kravitz looked him over, brow creased, then looked past him, to Merle, and past that. He must not have seen what he wanted, because he looked back at Magnus again, brow creasing further. “Where’s Taako?

Magnus hadn’t realized he still had it in him, but as the grim fucking reaper looked at him, as he asked for Taako, that cold anger and colder despair rose in his gut, sparking into a fire.

Kravitz being there could only mean one thing, but that _couldn_ _’t be true_.

He crossed the space with a roar, armed pulled back to punch Kravitz. Merle let out a shout of surprise, and Kravitz’s eyes widened, ducking to one side.

“You can’t _have_ him!” Magnus snarled, following with another wild swing, a million thoughts running through his mind. If Kravitz was here, Taako was dead, he had messed up, there was nothing left to save, he’d let his family down _again_ \- “He’s not- he’s _not_ -!”

“I’m not here to collect!” Kravitz shouted, ducking under another swing. One hand reached out, clasping a scythe as it materialized in midair. Magnus readied himself for a return strike, but the reaper just held it between them, wary. “I’m not here to collect, I swear. I’m here to figure out what’s going on.”

“Calm emotions,” Merle said, patting his side, and Magnus felt his anger drain out of him, replaced by a mellow wave of relaxation that flowed over him.

Across from him, he saw the tension leave Kravitz as well. The reaper’s gaze switched to Merle, and he gave the dwarf a nod. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet,” Merle grouched, stepping up next to Magnus. “You better have a damn good reason for being here, and you’d better start talking, or I’ll start buffing Magnus.” He raised his wooden hand and wiggled his fingers. “He usually goes for the arms first.”

Kravitz flinched. Magnus wondered if it was because of the threat, or the reminder that he was responsible for Merle’s arm. Either way, he lowered the scythe, and it vanished. “I’m here to help. Something has gone wrong with Taako’s bounty, and I need to know what happened to him. The first time we met, I cleared your bounties after you defeated Legion, and Istus cleared it again with the Raven queen after your time in Refuge. Taako and I discussed what it is you do here, so…” He trailed off, frowning at their confused expressions. “I’m… guessing he never mentioned that?”

“Yeah, no,” Magnus said, sinking onto the couch. That last bout of anger had left him even more exhausted than before, and he ran a hand over his tired face. He felt Merle join him, and when he opened his eyes, Kravitz was glancing around, looking at the free armchair, then at them. Magnus gestured to it. “Sit down. If we’re gonna talk, might as well be comfortable. It’s been a _long_ day.”

“I imagine so,” he replied, perching carefully at the edge of his chair.

There was a beat of awkward silence, and Merle cleared his throat. “So, when, exactly, did you talk to Taako?”

Kravitz shifted in his seat, feeling a wave of magic go over them. Zone of Truth. He couldn’t say he hadn’t expected it. “Well, the first time was right after your mission in Refuge. Your death count went up by ten, but none of you accrued a bounty for it. The Raven Queen asked me to investigate the matter, and Taako seemed like… er, the most _approachable_ of the three of you. So, I met with him and we talked it over. He explained your mission, and since Istus has taken you under her protection, you were given a certain amount of… leeway, given the circumstances.”

Magnus narrowed his eyes, mulling that over for a moment before the realization hit him. His jaw dropped, and he gaped at Kravitz. “Wait, wait, hold on- so we can’t, like, _die_?”

Kravitz grimaced. “No, no no, you can definitely die. So you shouldn’t go do something crazy, like jump off the moon-base or anything. All I mean is that… there are some exceptions that can be made. Being saved from the brink of death, for instance. Dying and being healed by magic. Normally, there would be a bounty on you for that, although a very small one. It adds up, though, and given your line of work, if Istus wasn’t speaking on your behalf and if you hadn’t helped me stop Legion, you’d probably rack up a hefty bounty after a while.” He held a hand out, and an old tome appeared, floating just above it. “Which is why I needed to talk to you.”

He might have continued, but Magnus held up a hand. “So, before you keep going, I just want to clarify… you’re here, because he’s… he’s gone.” He couldn’t bring himself to say the actual word, and maybe Kravitz wasn’t as much of a jerk as Magnus thought he was, because he actually looked sympathetic when he responded.

“I’m here, because Taako’s name showed up as a bounty. Which, truth be told, could mean a number of things,” he said, voice soft. “But, the most likely one, I’m afraid, is that he’s gone, yes.”

Magnus sank back in his chair, letting out a long breath. Merle put a hand on his shoulder.

“But he’s not in the afterlife,” Merle said. “Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here.”

Kravitz gave him a small smile, but Magnus could see the crease between his eyes, the worry there. “That’s true. I probably could have worked something out in his favor. Unfortunately,” and he flipped through that book, landing somewhere in the middle and turning it to face them, “I have very little to go on.” He tapped Taako’s name, which sat at the top of a blank page. “Usually, the bounty has the name of the offender and information about what they did - necromancy, soul magic, simply not checking into the Astral Plane when they should… but there’s nothing. I have nothing to go on.” He shut the book again. “If I did, I could help - either directly, though that seems unlikely, or by petitioning the Raven Queen, or even Istus. And Taako knew all of that, we-” he stumbled over whatever he was going to say next, and settled for clearing his throat instead. “We spoke in depth on the topic.”

“So you think something is wrong,” Merle said, more a statement than a question. Kravitz nodded.

“That’s all I know. I thought, if I had more to go off of, I might be able to figure out what happened and help.” He shrugged. “You two were my next best bet.”

Magnus and Merle glanced at each other. “That’s… kind of an exhausting story,” Merle said slowly. “Not to mention - wait, do you… can you understand Voidfish stuff, like NO-3113?”

“As I am dead, yes, I can,” Kravitz said. “And I know you’re probably exhausted, especially after a mission that took one of you out. But the more I know now, the better and faster I can help, so please tell me what you can.”

Magnus let Merle take the lead here, interjecting on occasion when Merle got choked up or missed a detail that might be important. Recalling their time in Wonderland was bitter. They’d done their best to stay positive, and a lot of that came from Taako’s blasé attitude, their usual ribbing and goofs and playing off one another. It was harder, with their handicaps (and those had just continued to accumulate as time went on, from the first sacrifice to the damage they took to things that they gambled and fought for and lost, but they had come out on top in the end… or at least, they thought they had), but they still managed to keep high spirits. Heck, even Angus over the stone of Far-speech was-

Oh god, Angus. They hadn’t seen him since they got back, the poor kid would be _heartbroken_ -

“Magnus?”

Magnus jumped, tuning back in to the conversation. “Sorry, what?”

“I wanted to know if you noticed anything odd, before you left Wonderland,” Kravitz repeated patiently. Magnus never thought he would ever be able to describe a harsh cockney accent as “kindly,” but damn if that wasn’t what Kravitz was doing right now. “Any indication of a threat that might have existed.”

“No,” he said immediately. He’d been thinking about it since Merle had finally pulled him away from the unyielding walls of Wonderland. Had there been something he missed? Had they accidentally forfeited Taako during the challenges? He didn’t think so, but none of them were great at perception anyways. “The oddest thing was that, after all that bullshit, they just gave us our prize and let us go.”

“Yeah, that was shifty,” Merle agreed, nodding. “I can’t say I much liked those elves. They always felt like they were up to something. Usually designing the next torture.”

“These are the hologram elves you mentioned earlier?” Magnus and Merle nodded, and Kravitz hummed thoughtfully. “That is interesting… Did-”

As he spoke, a pendant around his neck lit up - Magnus recognized it as a stone of Far-speech - and he paused. “Ah, excuse me. My boss is calling a meeting.” He stood, cloak materializing around him from smoke, and his scythe appearing in his hand. “I have to go, but thank you, for what you’ve told me.” He stepped away from the couch, coffee table and armchair to an open patch of the room, swinging his weapon and cutting a clear rift between their common room and the Astral Plane. “I will do some investigation into the matter, and see what I can find. And I will be in touch.”

“Hold up!” Merle clambered to his feet, and Kravitz paused, waiting. “The Bureau is doing an investigation, too - what if we find something we need to tell you?”

“Oh. Uh, I don’t suppose you have Taako’s stone of Far-speech, by any chance…?”

“No.” Merle tilted his head, giving the reaper an odd look. “Does he have your number?”

“I can attune one of your stones, then,” Kravitz said, dodging the question so entirely that even Magnus noticed. “May I see it?”

Merle didn’t look entirely convinced, but handed over his stone, to Magnus’s great relief - his was somewhere in his bag, and he really didn’t want to bother digging it out right now.

A few taps later, and Kravitz was handing the stone back. “There. You should be able to call me at will, but I’d prefer if you keep it to when you’ve found something relevant.” He nodded at the two of them. “So, if that’s all, then I’ll be on my way.”

Merle nodded, and Magnus just let out a sigh. Kravitz hovered awkwardly by the rift, as if waiting for something. Before Magnus could comment, however, he made up his mind, stepping through the portal. It vanished immediately behind him.

“Well, shit,” Merle said, staring at the place he’d disappeared. Magnus grunted, echoing the sentiment.

Taako was probably dead. Which meant the urgency they’d been feeling, to hurry and rest and get back out there, wouldn’t matter.

But Taako was also, somehow, friends with the Grim Fucking Reaper, which meant that maybe, maybe, they could still help him.

His body was tired, and his mind was weighed down with everything that had happened… but Magnus still had the feeling he wasn’t going to sleep tonight.


	3. Investigation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conversations with your boss are rarely this depressing...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so just a note: this follows canon until basically episode 52 (Ch 2 of The Suffering Game), before going off the rails into this little mini AU. Some elements from the more recent episodes will be woven in, but it'll be pretty selective and I'll keep you posted on what they are. Just a heads up.

Kravitz materialized back in the Eternal Stockade, back in the office he’d left a few hours prior. He waited, holding his pose until he felt the rift sew itself closed behind him, and only then did he slump, heaving a sigh.

That had been… less optimistic a meeting than he had hoped.

The stone of Far-Speech around his neck pulsed with light again, a gentle reminder of his duties. So, he straightened himself up with another sigh, brushing invisible dust from his robes. He only just remembered to allow the flesh to melt from his bones before he left his office, heading towards the throne room, a few hallways down. That would be where She’d expect him to be waiting.

He walked at an even pace, giving himself a moment to process everything he had just learned. There was a lot of it to go over, and though he would not want to keep his goddess waiting, he was fairly certain he knew why She was calling. She rarely called upon him like this, unless it was to assign him a particularly important bounty, or to discuss some irregularity in his work.

Since meeting the Reclaimers of the B.o.B., there had been a marked increase in those.

Which was why he braced himself as he walked into the throne room, taking in the sight of the black, gray and blue stained glass, the throne made of twisted metal and shaped like half of a bird’s cage, the marble and slate that was carved into reliefs of corvids, vultures, and avian scavengers of all kinds that lined the walls. Even a few aarakocran faces peered out from the stone, blank eyes seeming to follow him as the torchlight glittered off them.

He walked to the center of the floor, glancing at the empty throne before him, and bowed his head.

“What can I do for you, my Queen?”

A sigh filled the air, and he felt a familiar brush of wind caress his cheek fondly as his goddess materialized before him. _“My reaper. My loyal servant.”_

He lifted his gaze, taking in the Raven Queen’s agitated form, a swarm of black birds that flew in a silent murder, forming shapes as they did - sometimes a colossal Raven, sometimes a woman with a stern, concerned expression, and sometimes a skull, not unlike his own visage. The lack of coherence in Her shape confirmed the sinking suspicion in Kravitz’s thoughts - something was very wrong.

 _“Istus has called upon me, today,”_ She hummed, confirming Kravitz’s second suspicion. _“One of Her emissaries - the one you are so fond of - perished this day.”_ The flock hovered in a sphere, expectant.

“I am aware. His name appeared in the book.”

She hummed again. _“Most curious. I did not put it there.”_ Her statement hung severely between them for a long moment. _“She attempted to revive him, per our agreement, and found Herself unable to do so. She called upon me to assist Her. I, too, was unable to retrieve him.”_ The swarm formed the Raven again, and the fluttering, shifting head lowered itself to look at him. _“You have already investigated.”_

It wasn’t worded like a question, but he answered anyway. “I did. I spoke to Magnus and Merle - the human and the dwarf - about what happened. They didn’t see what happened, but they know where it happened. A place called ‘Wonderland.’”

 _“…I see.”_ Her form dissolved back into the flock. _“What do you know of this Wonderland?”_

“It’s a place that offers its seekers great prizes, should they complete the challenges within.”

_“And if they don’t succeed?”_

Kravitz hesitated, then shrugged. “General consensus seems to be that they die, my queen. And given what happened to Taako…”

 _“I see.”_ The parliament leaned closer, hundreds of eyes fixed on him as they flew about. _“Tell me everything they told you.”_

So, he did, relaying their quest for the Animus Bell (something they were both happy to hear was destroyed), their trials and success in Wonderland, and the strange disappearance and death of Taako. He did his best to tell Her everything he could - not because She couldn’t find out on his own, from his thoughts and memories, but because he knew She was fond of his attention to detail. He finished with a summary of his own investigation, the blank books and unsolved, resolved cases that seemed to indicate a larger, more ominous problem than Taako’s death alone. When he was finished, he waited as She thought over what he’d found.

 _“The lack of information we have is unsettling, but you may start with the testimonies of others who have traveled through Wonderland,”_ She suggested. _“I know it is not your preferred method of investigation, but the circumstances do seem to warrant it.”_

Kravitz tried not to grimace at the thought - even with a bare skull, She was always able to read his expressions. “They do. Before I go that route, though… is there anything that _you_ know about Wonderland that might help?”

The cloud of ravens became denser, more flurried, and Kravitz could swear he heard the faint echo of cawing. _“Wonderland is… closed to us, in a sense,”_ She said darkly. _“Istus, Pan… even some of the darker gods, are all blocked from its premises. Our followers…”_ She trailed off, and he stared openly. The Raven Queen only ever spoke with precision and finality. To hear her trail off, uncertain… _“We do what we can, for them. But while they are in Wonderland, they are kept from our sight.”_

That silence weighed even heavier than the one before it, as Kravitz tried to comprehend the kind of power that could keep a goddess as potent as _Death Herself_ away… his thoughts turned to the Relics, but that couldn’t have been the case. Merle had sworn the Animus Bell had been destroyed, and the likelihood of two such powerful objects ending up in the same place like that…

She broke the silence. _“It is possible that this is a problem to the Gods.”_ Her form fluttered, coalescing and taking a solid shape as the black birds melted together into an enormous feathered body. An arched neck, topped with a stern woman’s face, looked down on him, mouth set in a grim line. _“Unfortunately, like many such problems, it is likely the solutions will come from mortals.”_

Kravitz sensed the shift in Her mood, and bowed his head again. “What will you have me do, my Queen?”

 _“Investigate. Guide these two in their search for their fallen comrade. Restore him if you can, and if you cannot - collect him. His soul will go to Istus, and she can decide what to do with him from there. But over all else -”_ Her eyes blazed, twin garnets set in ebony, much like his own human form - _“Find out what Wonderland is. Find out if it is a true threat. And find out what we must do.”_

He was dismissed. He bowed properly, one last time, but when he looked up, she was still there. Her form had changed again, from the imperious corvid to that of a woman, still tall, still imposing… but staring at him with a mixture of sorrow and pity.

“My Queen?”

“Kravitz,” She said, her voice lacking the ethereal quality of her work voice. “You’ve served me so well for so many years.” She reached out, cupping his cheekbone in one hand gently. He leaned into the familiar, kindly touch with a breathless sigh. She smiled sadly. “You deserve so much. I hope you are able to retrieve him.”

And Her form morphed one last time, warping into feathers and light, and finally, vanishing entirely.

Kravitz stood dumbly, staring at the spot where She’d been. He… wasn’t sure what to take from that, aside that he had Her approval to return Taako’s soul to his body. But that last part...

That last part, he could think about _after_ he shoved Taako’s soul back into his body. And, he thought with a grimace as he turned to leave, She had pointed out a valuable lead.

It was time to take a dip.

 

—

 

It took them two whole days to heal fully. Even magic can only do so much, and something about their injuries from Wonderland were particularly resistant to magic. Strong healing spells only managed about half of their usual potency, and weaker spells had no effect… or worse. A well-meaning Brad had cast Healing Word on Magnus their first afternoon back, and instead of its intended effect, it sent Magnus into fits of agony. After he’d come to in the infirmary, Madame Director had declared that only the professional healers and Merle himself would be allowed to work on the two of them.

So it was slow going, between their natural process of healing and magic. Or, slow for Magnus, anyway. He tried to focus on recovering, but everything reminded him of Taako, reminded him that his friend was still trapped in that horrible place, and, living or dead, no one deserved that.

Lucretia told him she’d update them when she got news, or figured out a plan of action. Kravitz had kind-of promised to do the same, though Magnus still wasn’t sure what to make of him. After two days of hearing nothing from either of them, though, he was getting antsy. It was time to rush back in.

Or, carefully walk to Lucretia’s office, still tender from nursing his injuries.

She didn’t seem surprised to see him.

 

—

 

She wasn’t surprised to see him in her office.

She was surprised that it had taken him this long - a testament, she supposed bitterly, to the kind of damage Wonderland could cause. Both physically, and…

“Hello Magnus,” she said, carefully putting aside the report she’d been working on, covering it with one long sleeve. “How can I help you today?”

“Have you found out anything about Taako?”

She sighed internally. Just like Magnus, to rush straight to the point. “We haven’t learned enough, I’m afraid. Killian, NO-3113, Carey, and Angus are all planet-side, interviewing contestants.” Magnus flinched at the last name, and she couldn’t blame him. Angus was still just a boy, and he really looked up to Taako… for some reason…

“How’s… how’s Ango doing?”

She frowned. “He’s worried, certainly. But, he’s been using that to throw himself into his work. It may not be the healthiest thing, but it is helpful. We’ve learned a lot more with him helping.”

“Like what?”

“Well… we’ve learned that not everyone in Wonderland finishes with their party. They’ve found a few incidents where people have been separated from their party, or party members died, and they were able to join with other groups.”

She waited for his response, expecting elation - even hurt, Taako might survive on his own, if he could get help. And, he had a history of being _very_ persuasive. If he had joined up with another team, the likelihood that they were going to get him out alive increased dramatically.

But instead of excitement, Magnus stared blankly, waiting for her to explain.

“Taako… has a chance,” she spelled out slowly. “If we thought he was… well, if he were gone, there wouldn’t be any reason to try and retrieve him. But if there’s a good chance that he’s still alive…” she trailed off, watching as Magnus looked away. “Something wrong?”

“It’s nothing,” Magnus said, too quickly. She looked at him quizzically, then smiled.

“I know you’re worried about him,” she said, almost moved to reach out to him before thinking better of it, settling her arm and sleeve over her report. “But he is a capable wizard, and a charismatic one at that. If anyone can find a group in Wonderland to survive with, until we can get him back, it’s him.”

She couldn’t mark the expression he made just then. Magnus was an open book to anyone who knew him. He wore his emotions openly and plainly, unlike the rest of his party. Granted, he was more likely to shrug off bad moods with jokes and humor, but whenever you looked at Magnus, you could tell exactly what he was feeling.

This expression? She couldn’t tell. And that worried her, on his behalf.

“Is something wrong, Magnus?” she asked, before immediately correcting herself. “I mean, besides Taako’s situation?”

“Oh, no. No. Just…” His fingers twitched anxiously, and he folded them in his lap. “Just, worried. About Taako. Do you know when we’ll be going back for him?”

“I don’t. Magnus,” she stood up, moving around the desk to stand next to him. As she did so, she was careful to slide a sheet of paper over her work. She didn’t notice his eyes flicker over to it, but if he saw anything, he didn’t show it. “You, Merle, and Taako are currently the backbone of our mission here at the Bureau. It’s bad enough Taako’s in trouble - I can’t risk losing the two of you until we know what’s going on.” He looked up at her from the chair he was in, and she looked back at him, hands clasped, aiming for something almost motherly. “We’re working as fast as we can. But I can’t make any promises about when we’ll be extracting Taako.”

And there was that look again, inscrutable, and she didn’t know what he was thinking. It finally resolved to resignation, and he stood, towering over her slighter frame. “Alright. But, you will tell me when you know something?”

“You will be the first to know, Magnus,” she assured him, grateful that he was finally listening. “I’ll contact you over your stone of farspeech.”

He nodded, turning and making his way to the door, pausing as he opened it. “…Madame Director?”

“Yes, Magnus?”

He hesitated, then shook his head. “Nevermind. It’s… it’s nothing,” he said, before slipping through the doorway, the door falling shut behind him.

She stood for a long minute, thinking over the conversation in her head. Magnus was an impulsive man - she knew she could only keep him here for so long before he made a move on his own. But she wasn’t going to send him and Merle in under-prepared again. They knew what lay inside Wonderland for them, but to her knowledge, no winner had been kidnapped like Taako had, and this new unknown made her wary.

She was responsible for them. They were the one thing that kept this mission moving, and she couldn’t risk losing all three of them… even if it meant losing one. It was better to be cautious.

She sighed at the thought. Not being cautious was what had led to her time in Wonderland, and as she thought about it, her bones ached a little with her age, reminding her of the weight twenty years carried. More stiffly than usual, she returned to her chair, sitting and pulling out the report she’d been working on. The title left a sour taste in her mouth, but she swallowed it down. Working on this was just a precaution, she reasoned - something for the worst-case scenario.

Those thoughts didn’t comfort her as she updated Taako’s life file for the Voidfish.

 

—

 

“Lucretia knows Taako’s dead.”

Merle blinked up at him from the couch, clearly caught off guard by the human fighter’s sudden appearance in the dorm. “What’s that?”

“The Director knows that Taako’s dead. Or, at least she’s given up on him being alive.” Merle shuffled off to one side, giving Magnus room to sit, but the human just paced the living room. “Do you remember Boyland’s funeral?”

Merle grimaced. “Yeah, it was pompous and overhyped. Why?”

“They fed Boyland’s life records to the Voidfish afterwards. She was writing that up for Taako.”

“Wait, what?”

“She was writing them up! I caught a glimpse of it on her desk - she was trying to make sure I didn’t see it, but I didn’t take on rouge training with Carey for nothing.” He paused in his pacing, looking like he was about to snap - then deflated. “She’s not gonna help us. She’s given up on him.”

“Whoa now, slow down Magnus.” Merle hopped up holding his hands out placatingly. "That doesn’t sound like her at all.”

“Really? I think it sounds _a lot_ like her!” Magnus snapped back, riled again. “Think about it - Pringles sleepwalks, and suddenly he’s a criminal with no other explanation. Lucas fucks up and she sends team Death Flips after them-” 

“Okay, one, he accidentally released a ghost army on the world of the living, two, I don’t think that’s their team name, and-”

“Merle, she’ll cut out anything that might even slightly interfere with destroying the relics.”

“That’s not necessarily a bad thing, I mean… they do have to be destroyed. Saving the world and everything.”

“Merle, I just talked to her, and do you know what she said?” Merle opened his mouth, but Magnus wasn’t waiting for an answer. “She said she couldn’t risk losing us, even to save Taako. Even if she thinks Taako’s alive, even if she’s planning a rescue mission… I don’t think she’s planning to include us.”

Merle fell silent at that, contemplating that last part. “…have they found anything?”

“According to her… not much.”

“So, she’s either telling the truth, or you’re right, and they know he’s dead and she’s trying to keep us in the dark.” He rubbed his eye with his normal hand. “It’s not like her to dance around something like that. If she thought he was dead… we’d all know.”

“Okay, but she’s still ready to give up on him.”

“Magnus, she updates those every time we get back from a mission. Did you know that?”

Magnus faltered. “I- she does?”

“Yeah, I talked about it with her once… she says it’s easier to keep them updated than to write them all at once. Keeps them ready in case of… well, you know.” An uncomfortable silence fell over them.

Magnus’s fists clenched, unclenched. Carving would sooth that tick, but right now he was nowhere near the mindset to do that kind of work. He had gotten himself riled up, ready to rush in… but what Merle said made sense. Lucretia might not be the most up-front person, but… she also wouldn’t hide something like this…

He wanted to believe that, anyway.

“I think you’re right about the other part, though.”

Magnus looked up, surprised. Merle looked stern and thoughtful, staring down at the floor. “What?”

“I think you’re right. She wouldn’t send us back in, if she could help it.” Merle lifted his gaze. “You said it yourself. She can’t risk losing us.”

Something sank in Magnus’s gut. “So what, she’d send someone else?” He thought of the other people who worked here, his _friends_ , in the Bureau - Carey, Killian, and N0-3113 came to mind first, prime regulators… but otherwise dispensable, to the larger cause. The thought of any of them, or any of his other friends here, going into that place…

Merle nodded.

“We- we can’t let that happen.”

Merle sighed, in that bitter, old-man-y way of his, but nodded again. “I’m with you on that one, Magnus. But she had a point - we don’t know enough.”

“We know a little more. She said sometimes teams get separated and regrouped.”

“That doesn’t help Taako much, since he’s… well.” Merle shrugged helplessly. “Most people won’t party up with a dead guy. And even if we get in, doesn’t mean we’ll be able to _find_ him.”

Magnus stared at him. “What, so you’re just giving up?”

“No!” Merle bristled at that. “I’m just saying - we need to know more.”

Magnus blinked. “Where’s your stone of farspeech?”

Merle blinked back, brow furrowing. “What? Why?”

“We’re calling Kravitz.”

 

—

 

Arizania Windshield, aarakocran adventurer, Talon of the Isle of Cliffs, screamed.

It was not in terror. It was a deep-throated, bloody roar, that tore itself from her throat as she charged her opponent, hefting her warhammer high with a mighty swing before bringing it down-!

It passed harmlessly through his smug, _gods-damned smile_.

“I don’t know why you’re upset,” the fancily-dressed Drow said in that awful flat voice of his, completely unconcerned about the warhammer sticking through him. “You won! You’ve got nothing to be upset about!”

She pulled her weapon back, taking a few steps back to put some distance between the two of them. His form flickered slightly when she did, warping around the hammer before coming back to its perfect form. As if he needed to fix his appearance, he ran a manicured hand through his feathery white hair, grinning lazily at her. She narrowed her eyes at him, lifting the hammer again to level it at him.

“Give. Her. _Back_.” she gritted through her beak, tears prickling at her eyes. A few minutes ago, smoke would have been pouring from her mouth at this, like it had during this entire stupid, twisted game. She almost would have preferred that, to- “Give her _back!_ ”

The Drow made a tutting noise, waggling one finger at her. “Sorry, no can do!” he said cheekily. “You know the rules: you have to sacrifice to win in Wonderland. You have to suffer for your prize, and _oh_ ,” his grin became almost obscene, “how you’ve _suffered_. But now it’s at an end! You get to claim your prize, and return to your people in the Cliffs, a champion!”

She blinked back her tears. In her mind, she could see Zeraya, making that scowling expression that folks with lips made, and how it terrified their opponents. She wished she had lips now, so she could scare this cursed apparition. “Not until you give her back, you damned _Drow!_ ”

She felt slightly vindicated when his ears flicked back, an unamused look gracing his features briefly before he heaved a dramatic sigh. “Figures. Even here I’m not free of the blatant racism that runs rampant through this country.” He leaned forward, shit-eating smile back over his lips. “I do believe I introduced myself earlier, didn’t I? It’s Alton. Al. Ton.” He leaned back. “I know it’s difficult for you aarakocran to pick up Common, but geeze, it’s only two syllables, and you somehow manage “Zeraya” just fine-”

Arizania saw red this time, felt her Rage creep over her, and screamed again, launching herself at him, only to howl in frustration when he disappeared with a laugh.

“That won’t do you much good, kid!” he chuckled, voice echoing from all around the empty room. “Victors don’t have to worry about fights, just about how they’re going to spend their spoils. And speaking of -”

The feathers on her back prickled, and she whirled around, warhammer at the ready - only to see a pedestal appear, spotlighted. And on it was the very item they’d been sent to retrieve.

She closed her eyes, taking a few deep breaths, forcing her Rage down as best she could. If she destroyed her prize… it wasn’t worth thinking.

She thought about what had been sacrificed to _get_ that prize, and her anger flared again, hotter and more destructive than ever. With another battle-cry, she swung, and swung again, aiming at the darkness around her, as if she could hit something, anything, force this place to give her Zeraya, her partner, her eyes of the night and blade of the day, back to her.

“Huh. Still going at it,” the Drow’s voice echoed around her, sparking another fit as she slammed the hammer into the ground. “Tell you what - even though you’re being a _sore loser_ , I’ll let you just ride this one out. Your prize will be waiting outside for you. Enjoy swinging at nothing and getting nothing out of it!”

His dismissal rankled her even more, and she fell to her Rage completely. When she finally came to, panting, exhausted and shaking with the effort of holding her weapon… she was outside. _Outside_ outside, not in some stupid theater set that the hologram Drow had set up for them inside. Next to her was her prize - the Cliff Gizzard, a powerful magic item that had been lost to her people so long ago, now in her possession, to return to them. She’d be _famous._

She’d be alone.

Still shaking, she dropped, first to her knees, then to all fours. Her tears came back, fiercer than ever, and she tried to blink them away, but whenever she did, Zeraya’s face was there, behind her eyelids, how she looked the last time they’d seen each other, her face bloody and bruised, eyes still bright, pointed ears still held high, still determined… making that wager that put her into the hands of Wonderland…

She could see her perfectly, exactly how she looked, and then, her visage shifted, cleaned up. No longer was she bruised, skin flawless as any elf’s… more flawless than it had ever been before, with bright makeup that both perfectly complimented her fair complexion while drawing a gaudy image, eyes mischievous, and Arizania was confused, because she had never seen Zeraya like that before, and then even more confused, because she wasn’t Arizania anymore-

And then she was Rinkly, half-halfling bard extrordinare, realizing that he was in way, _way_ over his head as he looked at this elf lady putting on a show in front of him. A quick glance at his teammates confirmed that they were as enamored as he was - the twins, a pair of dragon-born, had their tongues hanging out, panting cartoonishly. Haggar’s eyes were bulging out of their sockets as the dwarf took in the sight. Only Cozal managed to look casually impressed, but even he couldn’t help running his gaze over the lady-elf’s body as the lights flashed.

“Welcome to Wonderland, boys,” Zeraya said, and Rinkly wondered how he knew her name, and the part of him that had just been Arizania reminded him of why, and he was confused momentarily before settling back into the present. “Ready to start?”

_Kravitz, you there?_

Rinkly blinked at the sound, then gasped. The world around him had frozen, colors paling from their gaudy, saturated hues to a calmer, iridescent sheen. On either side of him, the twins were melting, as if made of water, not scales, and the ceiling was dripping, and the whole world was flooding, and he was scared and confused-

_Kravitz?_

And then he remembered he was not Rinkly. He was not Arizania, or Mattiew, or any of the people he had been before.

Kravitz sat up, shaking the remnants of Rinkly’s memories from his sight and blinking groggily at his surroundings. A short distance away, several souls were floating above the surface of the water he was sitting in, and every now and then, one dipped down to sample the memories that resided in the ocean of the Astral Plane. Slowly, he stood, still feeling shaky. This was one thing he had never gotten used to as a deceased man, and he didn’t know if it was because of his position, or because he, personally, got so lost in other people’s memories. It wasn’t his favorite method of investigation, but it had proved more than worthwhile, this time.

He was so caught in bringing himself back together, both mentally and physically, as parts of his appearance had unraveled while he was under, that he forgot what had brought him out of those memories so quickly. How long had he been parsing the memories of the dead?

A voice from his pocket startled him, reminded him of what had awoken him. “Kravitz?” Magnus’s voice buzzed uncertainly as the reaper fished out his stone of farspeech.

“Yes, Magnus?” He took a breath that he didn’t really need, to steady himself, pleased that he’d gotten out at least two words without his voice shaking. “Have you found something?”

“…no, not really. We were hoping you had. The Director… we think she’s given up. Or something. We need to do something, now. So if you’ve found anything…” He trailed off, voice desperate, hopeful.

Kravitz ran a hand over his skull, feeling his dreads appear between his fingers as flesh rippled over his form, steadying himself as his mind ran over the memories he’d seen. “I think… I think I have, Magnus,” he said slowly. “But it’s not good.”


	4. Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can you guess who's going to be the feels magnet today?

Merle was still sitting on the couch, watching Magnus pace back and forth across the common room, when a ripping sound announced Kravitz’s arrival. He looked over just in time to see Kravitz step through, his scythe evaporating from his hands. He briefly caught a glimpse of the Astral plane through the dimensional rift before it sealed up behind him.

“Hello, boys,” he said, with a small nod to each of them. “How have you been the last…” he trailed off, looking a little embarrassed. “Since last I saw you?”

“It’s been two days,” Merle supplied. “We’ve… been.” He glanced over at Magnus, who had finally stopped pacing. “We’ve been _better_.”

“You said you found something?” Magnus said, rushing straight into the topic.

“I learned a great deal about Wonderland,” Kravitz said. “None of it good, as I’m sure you can imagine.” That cheerful note made him the recipient of Magnus’s patented kicked-puppy look, and he hurried to add: “I’m sure some of it will be useful in retrieving Taako, pleasant or not.” Magnus seemed relieved to hear that, at least, though Merle could still see how worried he still was. “Was the Bureau able to find anything?”

“Not much, as far as we know,” Merle said. “The Director has some of the seeker teams out looking for information, and a team of regulators right outside Wonderland - you’d actually know them, you met them when you were that crystal dude in Lucas’s lab.”

“Oh. Um… Killian and Carey, is that right?”

“NO-3113 joined them too.” Merle leaned forward. “But basically, we’ve haven’t found shit, and Magnus is worried Lucretia will do something rash… or find out he’s dead, and call the whole thing off.”

“You can’t tell me that it’s not something she’d do.”

“I’m not saying she would or wouldn’t,” Merle said diplomatically. “She’s cautious, she wouldn’t send someone in unless she didn’t have a choice.” He turned back to Kravitz. “We’re worried that choice will be to send someone else in, instead of letting us go back.”

“I’m surprised you two are so eager to go back - after what I’ve seen, I can’t imagine anyone being _willing_ to return to that place.”

“Which is why we can’t leave Taako there,” Magnus said firmly, sitting down next to Merle and gesturing to Kravitz to take the armchair. “So did you find something or not?”

“I may have figured out what happened to Taako, but I’m still not sure why,” Kravitz said, sitting down, perched on the edge of the seat. “I spoke to the Raven Queen after our talk, and she told me that even Istus was unable to reach Taako, which is… well, about as bad as you can imagine. I… investigated the memories of those deceased who survived Wonderland, and discovered that it seems to kidnap elves.” He glanced between the two of them. “The two who guided you through Wonderland were elves too, right? Did you get their names?”

Merle grimaced just thinking about the two glam elves. They left a bad taste in his mouth, not just because of what they’d done to him and his boys. “Jessie and James, I think it was.”

Kravitz looked thoughtful, then shook his head. “Their party must have died,” Merle caught him mutter under his breath, before speaking up again. “They were likely contestants just like you, but they died sometime during their… challenge. There were a _lot_ of elves who never made it out… moreso than any other race. Some died, some were left behind…” A pained look crossed the reaper’s face, just briefly, and Merle thought he could see a lick of fire in his suddenly gaunt eyes before his shape resolved back into its “handsome” shape. “Some parties even traded or bargained them off for a chance at freedom.”

 _That_ hung unpleasantly between the three of them for a long moment, as Merle tried to conceptualize what would drive a person to do something like that. Thinking back to Wonderland, to what he’d lost and what little they’d gained… never had the thought crossed his mind to throw his teammates to the wind for himself. Sure, they joked about shit like that, but Wonderland was no joke. It wasn’t like stealing chairs from a bank or bar-brawls in time-looped towns. They’d all laid everything out to get that stupid Bell.

“…are you ok, Kravitz?”

Merle looked back at the reaper, who had startled at Magnus’s soft words. “What?”

“You- you just looked _real_ upset, for a second.”

“Oh.” He ran a hand over his hair, and might have subtly swiped at his eye in the process. “No, my apologies, I’m fine. I had to use some… well, unpleasant methods of investigation, which left me with a very personal sense of-” He trailed off, lowering his hand with a sigh. “It’s not important. What is important is that Wonderland seems to specifically collect elves.”

“Why?” Merle asked.

“You said…” Magnus started slowly, and Merle and Kravitz looked over at him. He was staring at the reaper, a growing look of unease settling over his features. “You said the two elves that led us through Wonderland were probably contestants.”

“I don’t have anything to confirm that, but… yes, probably.”

“So, Taako is… _working_ for them now?”

And as Magnus said that, Merle put it together as well, and groaned. “Shit, he made that joke at the start of the whole thing…”

Kravitz turned to him, frowning. “What joke?”

“After those elves showed up, they did some sort of glam-runway show, Taako loved it. Asked if they were hiring.” Kravitz’s expression instantly went from worried to hugely alarmed, so he rushed on, “I’m pretty sure he was joking! I mean, Taako… you know.” Merle shrugged. “I mean, this gig is tough, but he wouldn’t just abandon us to hang with a bunch of neon elves.”

No one answered that.

Kravitz cleared his throat, breaking the awkward silence. “To be clear, he’s not working for the elves, exactly. But he is working for whatever is running Wonderland. As I said, he’s not the first elven adventurer to fall into its trap, and I don’t know what reason any of them would have to work for Wonderland, but I suspect it’s not… willingly.

Merle sighed. “Well, that settles things, doesn’t it?”

Magnus and Kravitz stared blankly at him, Magnus voicing their shared question. “Settles… what?”

“Whether we need to leave now, before the Director figures anything out.”

Magnus perked up immediately at that, as Merle knew he would - Magnus rushes in and everything - but Kravitz still looked puzzled. “Why is that?”

“Look, if we told Lucretia that Taako was dead, but we could like… fix that, with godly permission - she might actually let us go get Taako. Or have someone else get Taako, one or the other. Our track record right now is 6/7, and everyone else’s is zero, she can’t afford to piss us off when there’s one left, and she can’t afford giving us another teammate that may be less resistant to the Relics’ thrall.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“The problem is, according to you, Taako’s not 100% dead… or if he is, he’s like, undead or something, and working for _someone else_ ,” Merle stressed. “And Luci puts up with a lotta shit from us, but like… she almost read us our rights that one time that we forgot we weren’t supposed to talk to Red Robes? Not to mention the BoB’s rules about never leaving this organization once you’re a part of it, and like… Like, think about Lucas’s whole deal.”

“Or Pringles,” Magnus added, thinking about it.”

“Yeah, or Pringles. So that’s strike one. Strike two is that, we know Voidfish swill doesn’t mean jack shit if you’re dead. Right?” he said, turning to Kravitz for clarification.

“Yes, that’s correct. You can’t use a voidfish to obscure knowledge from the dead.”

“Right, so if that’s the case, and all the other elves are dead too-”

“Taako could tell them anything,” Magnus finished for him.

“Yeah. And Lucretia wouldn’t like that at _all_.”

“So…”

“So, we need to get in and get Taako out of there before she knows what’s going on,” Merle said, feeling grim. “We have to go back to Wonderland, ASAP.”

Magnus looked more alive than he had in the last two days, the prospects of finally, actually doing _something_ cheering him up immensely, and Merle couldn’t help the mix of relief and worry he felt for the human. They’d all lost so much in Wonderland, even before it had taken Taako. Pan only knew what it would take from them this time to get him _back_.

“I think I can-” Kravitz was cut off with a small, undignified squawk by his stone of Far-Speech again, as it lit up and _buzzed_ from its place around his neck. “I- pardon me,” he said, pulling the stone from its chain and standing. “I’m afraid I have to see to this. I should be back momentarily…”

“We’ll be here making plans,” Merle replied.

Kravitz nodded, summoning his scythe to open the portal to the Astral Plane, when Magnus spoke up. “Hey Kravitz?” When the reaper turned back to him again, he cracked a small, worried smile. “Don’t take two days again?”

Kravitz blinked, then laughed softly. “I will do my best not to,” he promised, before stepping through the portal and vanishing.

Merle stared at the spot where Kravitz had disappeared. “That’s always gonna look weird, isn’t it?” he grumbled. “Not just me, right? The whole, disappearing into thin air thing?”

“I think it’s always gonna be weirder that we’re now like… friends? With the Grim Reaper?”

Merle thought it over. “Yeah, that’s pretty weird too.”

They were silent for another moment, and then Magnus took in a deep breath. “Alright, let’s talk about how we’re gonna get off the moon.”

That discussion lasted quite a while, for two reasons - one, neither of them could figure out a good way to get off the moon without alerting the Director. They could bribe Avi, but the Director would notice within a few hours that someone had taken an unauthorized canon trip. They could try to launch _themselves_ , but that would probably just be a terrible idea, given that neither of them knew how to aim the damn things. Their plans got more and more tenuous as they went on, and ten minutes passed, then thirty, and Kravitz still hadn’t returned, Merle could see Magnus getting more and more antsy. He did his best to keep the human distracted, proposing plans so absurd that Magnus had to laugh, even under the circumstances. As time dragged on, even he ran out of ideas and goofs, and the two lapsed into silence.

“Maybe we should give him a call?” Magnus suggested, nodding at Merle’s stone of Far-speech. Merle rolled it in his hand thoughtfully, a thought coming to mind. “He might have an idea.”

“He hasn’t been gone that long, though,” Merle said, earning an impatient huff from Magnus. “Besides… I just thought of someone else who might have an idea.”

It took him a minute to cast the spell, and Magnus gave him a warning _before_ he started speaking about the difference between “prostrate” and “prostate,” but soon enough he was feeling that gentle, familiar pull of magic as he cast Commune to speak with Pan.

“Oh Pan-nly father-” he started, speaking aloud for Magnus’s benefit, when there was a sharp tug on the spell he’d cast. For a brief second, he was reminded of Wonderland, the way his spells were dampened and cut off there, and he fumbled to fix it, to reestablish the connection-

But then the connection was back, stronger… but he wasn’t the one supporting it.

 _Hello my child, I_ _’m gonna stop you right there, this one is kind of a freebie,_ Pan’s voice echoed through their common room. _Normally, I_ _’d only be able to give you yes-no answers for this spell, but things are getting pretty busy up here, so we’re going to skip that nonsense and cut straight to the chase. What’s your question?_

He shared a worried glance with Magnus. “Um, well… we’re trying to get our wizard, Taako, out of Wonderland,” he explained, “and we have to get off the moon-base without raising a fuss. We’re sort of out of ideas, and-”

 _I wouldn_ _’t worry about it,_ Pan said, cutting him off. _I believe the Raven Queen_ _’s employee can handle that for you._

“Told you we should have called,” Magnus mumbled to him, before lifting his voice to address Pan. “What’s the easiest way to get Taako back?”

There’s silence on the other end of the God-phone, though Merle could still feel the connection through the spell. Magnus started to look a little sheepish as it drags on.

“Sorry, I assumed it was on speaker-phone…”

 _It is, homie, I_ _’m just trying to figure out the best way to answer your question,_ Pan sighed back, making the human jump. _Everyone up here_ _’s in a tizzy - two days ago, Istus called up all frantic that one of her emissaries had disappeared, and then she got the Raven Queen involved, and it took a little while for me to realize that he was part of your group, and in the meantime… Well, this whole Wonderland deal has the gods up in arms. To answer your question - we don’t_ know _what the best way to retrieve your friend is. We don_ _’t know what is inside Wonderland._

A chill went through Merle, that the warmth of his magic could not assuage. “Is that why I wasn’t able to cast well there?”

 _It_ _’s blocked from our sights, and yes, that would affect the magic I give you._ Merle felt the spell waver again, before it held fast. _Also, that was technically your third question, but we_ _’ve got a little more time before the Raven Queen is finished talking with her reaper. To my understanding, she is allowing him to assist you this time. He’ll be a good asset, he’s pretty tough._

“But we did kick his crystal butt that one time,” Magnus said. To their surprise, Pan laughed.

 _That you did,_ he said, voice mischievous. _And well done, too. Got him back for that crystal arm stunt, didn_ _’t you?_

“Can we trust him, though?” Merle asked. Next to him, Magnus nodded. “I mean, he says he wants to help, and he hasn’t tried anything so far, but… if Taako’s dead, why else would he want to help us?”

The silence this time was more awkward than anything. _Look, uh_ _… okay, at risk of getting into something that isn’t really any of my business, here, but I’m_ fairly certain _he has a good reason for working with you two that_ isn’t _collecting souls. Istus speaks to the Raven Queen for you, and she gives him orders. You can trust him for this mission._

“Well, that’s good enough for me,” Merle said.

 _Glad you think so,_ Pan replied flippantly. _Look, your mission with the Bureau of Balance has caught the attention of many of the gods, not just the three of us. We are all aware of the_ very _real threat these items you hunt pose. That_ _’s why you get so much… mmm, let’s call it leeway. This Wonderland business?_ His voice turned serious. _We know nothing of this. Which is why_ I’m _outright bending the rules. I can_ _’t speak for the rest of them. But Merle Hitower Highchurch, my child-_

(Merle stiffened at the use of his full name, feeling like a naughty child being found out by a parent.)

 _You will have all the support I can give you in that place, I promise you that._ There was another tug at the spell. _Unfortunately, right now our time is growing short. Is there anything else?_

Merle hesitated. The easy thing to do was to say yes and let Pan go on his way, since he’d already given Merle above-and-beyond service with this spell. But there was something he felt needed to be said, especially with all that Pan was doing for them.

He looked up at Magnus. “Do you mind if I take it off speaker for just a moment?” he asked, to which Magnus just held up his hands.

“Your spell, your god, Merle.”

He nodded, folding his hands back together and speaking with his thoughts instead. The voice of Pan curled through his mind. _So I_ _’m guessing there’s something else?_

“Pan,” he thought back, “I- I know I’m not always, well..”

 _Merle_ , the god said, lifting the burden of continuing his sentence. _You_ _’ve never been my most steadfast servant, and I can understand why. Pan Camp wasn’t your choice, but your duty, and now, whether we like it or not, we’re saddled with one another._ Despite his resigned phrasing, his voice was fond, almost amused, like family ribbing.

“Yeah, yeah… I just wanted to say… thanks. For all the shit you do for me.” He paused, and coughed aloud, embarrassed. “And… for putting up with all of my shit.

 _My child, I_ _’m the God of Nature, Revelry, and Freedom,”_ Pan chided, a smile in his voice. _What kind of God would I be if I_ didn’t _let my followers be themselves, wayward or not? I will always take you as you are - no more, and no less._ Merle felt a warm, fuzzy feeling bloom from his chest, only partially caused by the spell. _You_ _’re beautiful._

Merle sniffed, that fuzzy feeling growing, and, as if sensing the impending waterworks, Pan teasingly added, _Now, let_ _’s see how long you remember that before you run off with another god again._

Merle startled himself with a laugh, quickly wiping away the not-quite tears. “Yeah, but Istus said you two knew each other.”

 _Oh no, yeah, she_ _’s cool._ There was a brief pause. _It seems as if your journey is about to begin, and I_ _’ve answered your questions the best I was able._ His voice became grave again, and uncomfortable contrast to the god’s usual, lighthearted spirit. _Wonderland will try to block my influence, but as always - my blessings go with you, Merle Hitower Highchurch._

“Thank you, Pan.” Merle felt the lingering warmth from the spell fade, but the reassurance he’d received remained. Even if this mission would be tough, they could do it. They could overcome it. For the gods. For Pan.

For Taako.

When he opened his eyes, Magnus was fidgeting, looking at him and anxiously waiting for him to finish his prayer.

“So…” He frowned, tilting his head as he took in Merle’s expression. “Good talk?”

Merle glanced down at his soulwood arm, flexing the fingers. Around his wrist, a handful of tiny forget-me-nots blossomed, and he smiled. “Yeah,” he said, looking back at Magnus. “It was.”

“So we can call Kravitz now?” Merle resisted the urge to sigh again. He knew Magnus was doing this out of concern, and he knew the man didn’t do well with sitting still, but-

There was a ripping sound, and Kravitz stepped back into the living room. Rather, he tripped over the edge of the hole between dimensions, catching and righting himself before he fell on his scythe, and the rift disappeared behind him as he straightened up. He looked… different. Merle couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was, but something about the way the reaper was holding himself was off.

“Sorry about that,” he said, running a hand through his hair, pushing the braids back. “My boss needed a word, before we set off… Where were we?”

“We need to get off the moon base without arousing suspicion,” Merle told him. Next to him, Magnus was giving Kravitz hopeful eyes. “Pan said you might be able to do it. Any ideas?”

Kravitz looked surprised at Pan’s name, but after a second, he smiled, hefting his scythe again. “Why yes. I believe I can manage that.”

 

—

 

Taako grinned from his invisible vantage point, far above the arena. “Tick-tock, Chrak!” he sing-songed, giggling silently as he watched the dragon-born dart back and forth across the arena. Taako had invented a new game, and he thought it was coming along beautifully. This was his first time running the show on his own, and he’d been saddled with the most optimistic and loyal party anyone could ever hope to meet.

It made him sick.

Their only saving grace (in his graces) was their naivete, which had allowed him to buddy-buddy with them through the first few games, playing the sympathetic announcer, complimenting their decisions and their bravery while needling them so subtly that they hardly noticed the wisps of smoke drifting upwards from them. And he kept it up, until even the human that had looked so suspicious at the beginning started to relax whenever he spoke.

That’s when he changed things up.

The thing about loyalty in parties is that you can be loyal to your team… but put them in a situation where you had to pick between one teammate or another, and things got a lot trickier. Throw in the chance to fail completely, and you had yourself a recipe for the ruin of a good team.

And now, down below, Chrak was fighting off enemies as he tried to keep them from hitting buttons. Buttons that were attached to the other half of the arena, where Hrrn and Syd were working together to try and capture the three gems that would allow them to end this game.

Some people might have said that this setup sounded familiar. He would have told those people to fuck right the heck off. He came up with it himself, a fun new way to extract suffering and anguish from the contestants of Wonderland.

But going back to the buttons: he was very proud of this idea. Every contestant, no matter who was running the game, had to visit The Wheel of Sacrifice. It was a great way to start the game, set expectations low, then slowly ramp it up, making them believe that nothing worse could come around but oh, Taako and his co-workers were _creative_. There was always something worse.

Still, a more cautious team could avoid some of the worse stuff on the wheel with a bit of luck. He wanted something that would make it a little more… _mandatory_. He couldn’t just force one of them to take the spin, though… there were rules here, too. He could, however, incorporate the wheel into another game, into new rules, where they had to take whatever they got on the wheel, no deliberating, no weighing the consequences, just instant suffering.

This was the catch. The buttons were labeled “Hrrn” and “Syd,” and hooked up to a larger version of the wheel that Taako had magicked up to loom over the arena. Every press sent it spinning, and whoever had their button pressed got whatever it landed on… no exceptions.

And Taako had placed them at opposite ends of Chrak’s side of the arena.

“Don’t let them down!” he encouraged with false sweetness, the poison behind it completely lost on the loyal-stupid dragon-born. “They’re depending on you!”

Every encouragement drove home every failure, increased the smoke with every button press, heightened Chrak’s despair and his teammate’s anguish. As the smoke floated past Taako, he breathed in, getting a sense of some of their emotions, feeling the doubt, the subtle symptoms of distrust and a growing sense of betrayal. Chrak looked like he might have an aneurysm any second now, so Taako helped by adding a ticking sound to the stage, echoing around them. “Come on, Chrak, you only have to stop them until _they_ finish their task!” The next taste of smoke carried with it his resentment, the feeling that if they had finished their job sooner, this wouldn’t have gotten so bad. For how little it was, and how slight the feelings within were, it was intoxicating.

_Taako!_

He winced at the mental summons, and the ticking stuttered for half a beat. Damn. He’d have to get used to that if he wanted to keep his performance impeccable.

With considerable focus, he split his attention, keeping one eye on his contestants while the rest of him slipped backstage. James was there, and it was strange to see him without Jessie joined at the hip… or hands… or legs…

Well, they were certainly creative with their act and their poses. Taako might have been jealous, but there was the fact that they were a duo, while he was a one-elf act. That’s right - it was all Taako, baby.

“What’s up, kemosabe?” he asked, leaning back on his parasol and letting himself float a few inches off the ground. “Here to fool around some more? You know I’m down, but I’m kinda in the middle of something, here.”

“I see that.” He could feel the other elf probing his arena, and opened access for him to take a peek. James took a moment to examine the scene (Chrak was shouting apologies over the sound of him breaking Taako’s minions, and Syd was starting to snap at Hrrn as they reached for the second gem needed to complete the task), and frowned, almost a pout. “Don’t seem to be getting a lot of suffering from them.”

Taako snorted, blatantly ignoring the backhanded insult in the sympathetic sounding words. “It’s sort of a slow burn, J. See, they really like each other, but they’re gonna like each other a lot less when I’m done with ‘em.” He shrugged. “Besides, they’re not going anywhere!”

“You are, though.” His ears perked up, curiosity piqued as James turned his attention back to him. “The Ringmaster wants to see you.”

Taako didn’t have blood or veins or a circulatory system anymore, but he could swear his blood ran cold and his heart skipped a beat for a split second, before that warm light that was his existence resumed itself. He hadn’t really… _seen_ the Ringmaster before. He was always there, of course, always present and reaching out to his beloved employees, the Wonderland Elves, who kept the show running. But, as far as he knew, he didn’t _speak_ to anyone, didn’t _see_ anyone, apart from Jessie and James, the oldest elves in the place, who received their assignments from him and passed these on to the rest of them.

Oh, James was still talking.

“-think I’ve got the feel of what you’re going for here, so I’ll take _good care_ of your group while you go meet with the Ringmaster.” James looked him over, smirking at his dazed expression. “Nervous, darling?”

Taako composed himself, throwing back a lazy grin. “Not at all, J.”

“You don’t have to be,” James soothed. “It won’t be anything _bad_. Who knows? Maybe he’ll give you a promotion, like Jessie and myself.” He glanced back into Taako’s arena. “Then again, maybe he’s planning to give you some pointers?”

Taako’s grin twitched by one degree. “Why, are you speaking from experience?”

James’ smile didn’t falter, but his eyes glittered as they hardened. “Don’t keep him waiting, Taako,” he warned, before disappearing into the arena where Taako’s contestants had finally finished their challenge. Taako waited long enough to hear him cheerfully inform them that there had been a slight change of plans, playing a slightly meaner role than Taako had. The former wizard smirked. You could say a lot of unsavory things about Wonderland’s main duo, but they knew how to stick to a script. This would fit in fine with Taako’s “good cop/bad cop” betrayal, once he got back from…

He slipped further backstage. Not physically, since there was nowhere else to go. It was sort of like the Blink spell - one second, you occupied this space, and the next, you occupied the same space, just a plane of existence to the left. The cool air was what he felt first, washing over and through his incorporeal form, just as it had the day he arrived here, the day he took this place. Everyone here _knew_ the Ringmaster - he was part of their existence, and he wouldn’t have felt like himself without him there, always circling, hovering, invisible, his presence tangible throughout the whole of Wonderland. But being part of his adoring entourage and speaking with him one-on-one were two different bags of cats, if you caught his drift. One was full of big, purring fantasy Maine coons, who were comforting and familiar. The other…

Well, the other was just a mystery.

He was surprised to find he wasn’t greeted on arrival. There was simply an abundance of smoke back here, the main product of Wonderland - pure, unfiltered suffering. The scent of it was tantalizing, Taako had to admit - probably better than anything he’d smelled before.

The only other thing he noticed, looking around and trying to figure out _where_ the Ringmaster was, were the glowing spheres, interspersed throughout the smoke. Most were barely visible, but one close to him pulsed faintly in the dark, its glow almost as alluring as the smoke around it. Curious, he stepped over to it, examining it more closely. It wasn’t huge, maybe the size of a small child, curled in a ball. It hovered about chest height, just glowing, and the smoke around it seemed to part in strange negative shapes, clearing around tendrils that didn’t exist.

And then he reached out to touch the light, and found out that _hoo boy_ those tendrils _did_ exist and whatever they were, they were _cold_. He flinched back, but the shape in the smoke followed, curling lazily as it sought him out. Behind him, he could feel a similar cold, exactly like the one that had soothed him when he’d first become part of this place, and he allowed himself to relax.

He had found the Ringmaster.

“So, uh… what’s going on?” he asked, when it seemed disinclined to speak. Wordlessly, the cold force pressed in. Taako’s body was long gone - used as chow for the beasties in one of the Trust/Forsake challenges - and he was well accustomed to the airy freedom his hologram form afforded him. That freedom didn’t exist now, held in place as he was to the whims of the Ringmaster, _his_ master, as it pushed in further, constricting.

Something like fear bubbled up in his throat, hot and frothing, and he barked out a laugh in the face of it all - what else could he do? It tightened around him in response, and he felt like he was on fire in contrast to its cold, wincing as the pressure increased on his forehead, driving in and _squeezing, pushing_ , as if trying to break through his skull itself-

The snap, and the waves of relief that came with it, were almost instantaneous. Taako sagged in its grasp, relieved, and it offered him a few apologetic pats as it set him back on his feet. It was more than just relief from the pain; it was… almost _pleasurable._

It was a delicious feeling, like a cold drink of water on a sweltering day, trickling down his throat and into his mind, across his senses. He… he could see, could see some of the world the way his master, the Ringmaster, saw it. Contestants, hundreds, thousands of them over the years, lured in by bright lights and brighter promises-

Struck down.

 _How?_ He wondered, marveling at the heroes that came and went from his vision. The Ringmaster answered, and Taako watched as mouths opened, and necrotic energy floated from them to the ceiling… but now…

But now he could see so much more. That little foothold, that tiny, insignificant speck of negativity, allowed the Ringmaster to take root. Grasping that thread of necrotic energy, one tug pulled at the web of insecurities inside each contestant. A symphony of fears, of doubts and regrets and sorrows, echoed from each, single string. And with each admission of failure, of weakness…

The Master’s web grew stronger.

And it didn’t stop when they left, either. One vision showed Taako an older woman, dark skin and silver hair, sitting at a desk in front of a portrait of herself… and still, that web was hooked into her, though not as strongly. Not anymore. It was amazing, truly awe inspiring, and Taako was distantly aware that, if he were not so enamored with his job, he might have found it a little horrifying, the scope of which Wonderland seeped into the minds of its challengers. But, he loved his job, and adored the Ringmaster, and all he could do was marvel at how clever the whole trap was - gather artifacts, lure in challengers with their promise, and let a select few win, so they could be bait for bigger, better contestants. It was brilliant.

It showed Taako more. It showed him… himself. A flier, more specifically, listing the names of three contestants - Kravitz, Merle, Magnus, across the top, and his own face under the prize heading.

He wanted to ask about that, why he would be listed as a prize - he was an employee, not something to be won - when two threads of necrotic energy lowered themselves into his hands. Obeying the wordless order, he clasped at them, linking to the two nets.

_Failed, I failed-_

_Didn_ _’t deserve-_

_Just like before-_

_Abandoned, should have watched-_

The two contestants, he realized with a start, pulling himself from the thought stream the nets linked him to. Magnus and Merle. They had been here before, of course, so the Master had already ensnared them.

And they were coming back.

Taako looked up at the Ringmaster, his eyes still glazed from communing with it, and smiled. His fists tightened around the two leads of energy.

He knew _exactly_ how he’d break them.

And this _Kravitz_ would fall soon after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pan Was Super Fun To Write.
> 
> https://youtu.be/ZOZcttrgXKQ?list=PLrTqAYyMh0rz7_4HHsacvZX-Fts7Mjm-X
> 
> EDIT: Hi Guys! I have a plea for you! I am in desperate need of funds. If you like what I write, and would like to help me out, please check out the post below for more details. Thank you!  
> http://mercurial-writ.tumblr.com/post/159047597334/help-a-writer-out  
> Thank you guys so much for reading and commenting and supporting this~!


	5. Guilt and Entry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Have a whole chapter from Carey's pov as this feels train keeps rolling!!

“And you’re sure I can’t convince you not to go?”

Angus’s tone tugged at Carey’s heartstrings, but she kept her gaze on the path, pretending to ignore the conversation behind her.

“Sorry, little man,” the half-orc replied (she could practically _feel_ Angus bristle at the nickname), “but we’ve got to go. The prize…”

There was a pause, and Carey’s curiosity got the better of her. She glanced over.

A pair of adventurers, one of the many groups that had gone by today, stood in front of Angus. The boy detective had his notebook out, quill in hand, looking up at them intently. The two half-orcs, however, were looking up at the doorway to Wonderland. Carey made the mistake of looking up, and quickly looked away… but not before learning their names. Maugis and Hakkin. Yet another group lured into Wonderland.

Angus finished his conversation quietly, though Carey could pick out his chirped “Good luck!” at the end. There wasn’t a sound as they passed through the doorway, but her roguish senses told her when there were two fewer warm-bloods behind her.

Team Sweet Flips (plus Angus) had been camped outside of Wonderland since the night after the Reclaimers (minus Taako) had come back, with the orders to learn whatever they could about Wonderland: by interviewing people as they came in and out, by investigating the exterior of Wonderland itself, and by any other means necessary… save one.

Under no circumstances, the Director had told them, were they to enter Wonderland.

The warning was unnecessary. Carey had seen Magnus once before she’d shipped out, at a distance. She wasn’t a master of mammalian facial expressions, but she’d spent a lot of time with Magnus. The man was _hurt_ , not just physically. She could easily guess at the source. Somehow, he had come back, and Taako had not. She hadn’t been given the details, but her own words to Magnus had settled uncomfortably in the back of her mind, cautioning him to let someone else take the hit…

She couldn’t help but wonder if that was what had happened to Taako.

“Get anything, Angus?” Killian asked, maybe a little louder than necessary. Even though Wonderland was in the dead center of the Felicity Wilds, the sounds of the forest were distant, oddly muted, as though even the wildlife didn’t dare approach the enormous tent. Occasionally, Wonderland itself would produce some sort of garish fanfare (usually when new challengers approached, sometimes at complete random, startling the three regulators and their precocious charge), but otherwise, it felt too quiet.

Carey heard Angus flipping through his notebook.  “I’m afraid not, Miss Killian. They mostly said what all the other groups have said.” His voice was light, but it didn’t hide the disappointment underlying his words. He’d taken Taako’s disappearance hard - certainly better than someone else his age might have, but he’d been really attached to the boys from the start, and had really gotten close to Taako (somehow) within the past year. Hearing that he was missing, and maybe (only maybe!) dead… that had hit him hard, and it was evident in how he threw himself into his work, keeping his chin up as best he could. Part of her wished that he was back up on the moon, doing something else to occupy him. The other part of her knew he wouldn’t be happy unless he was doing something to _help_ , and this wasn’t a bad place to have him. Or, it wouldn’t have been, if they had more to work with.

“That’s alright - we’ll get something with the next group,” Killian said, patting him on the shoulder. “Keep up the good work, Angus.” The words were a front; they all knew they weren’t going to learn anything new. At this point, they had realized everyone going into Wonderland had a single goal - to win their prize.

In the two days they’d been there, they’d watched thirty-six groups enter Wonderland.

They hadn’t seen a single person leave.

The signs along the path, which had gone blank once Maugis and Hakkin had gone through, began to flicker again, and she sighed.

“There’s another team incoming,” she called. Noelle walked over in a few loud clanks, her sturdy presence a faint reassurance as they scanned the tree-line. Behind them, Carey heard Angus scrambling with his notes, yelping when Killian gently picked him up and placed him behind the moderate cover they’d setup, before she joined Carey and Noelle, hand hovering over her crossbow.

(They had learned the hard way - Wonderland attracted all sorts of people, and not all of them were friendly.)

The last thing she was expecting was Magnus and Merle, stepping out of the Felicity Wilds-

Strike that.

The _very_ last thing she expected was Death, the Grim Reaper, and Taako’s secret mystery-boyfriend, stepping out of the Felicity Wilds behind them.

“What the hell,” Killian deadpanned, voicing her feelings perfectly. Magnus waved to them as the three made their way down the path, towards Team Sweet Flips’s hangout. Noelle waved back, but Carey could feel Killian tensing up beside her, and chose to rest a scaly hand on her shoulder instead. The orc jumped at the contact, but a little of the tension seeped out of her. A little.

“Sirs!” Angus popped up out of hiding and darted past the regulators. Carey caught the brief wave of emotion that washed over Magnus’s face, the wince from Merle, before they both quashed whatever they were feeling. Magnus gave Angus a fair attempt at a smile, and Merle gave him his usual indifferent farce.

“Hey, Dango, how’s it going?”

Carey narrowed her eyes at Magnus. He was avoiding looking at the regulators now, focusing on his talk with Angus, but his guilty glances told her confirmed her suspicions that something was awry. It was weird that they were here - Madame Director hadn’t told any of them that she was sending the Reclaimers down, and it wasn’t as if anything was happening here that they were needed for…

The signs stopped flashing, and she glanced over at one of them, inhaling sharply.

“-so we’ve found out a little. We don’t have any solid leads, b-but we aren’t going to stop until we get Taako back,” Angus said, finishing his summary of the last few days. “But what about you, sirs? What are you doing here, are you here to help?” He glanced over at Kravitz, frowning. “Oh! Sorry, I didn’t introduce myself. I’m Angus McDonald, world’s greatest detective!” He held his hand out to the grim reaper, and all three of the regulators tensed at that. “Angus McDonald, world’s greatest detective.”

Death bent down and shook his hand. “Kravitz. It’s good to meet you, Angus, I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Carey could guess who had told him. When they got Taako back, she was going to see if she could talk some self-preservation into the elf. He clearly needed it as much as Magnus did.

“Oh?” Angus perked up for a split second, then froze. “Wait, did you say Kravitz?”

Merle and Magnus shared a look, and Kravitz raised an eyebrow. “Yes?”

“As in, bounty hunter for the Raven Queen, hunted the Reclaimers, stole Merle’s arm Kravitz.”

“Er…” Carey knew she was living in interesting times, but seeing Death look _embarrassed_ was certainly towards the top of the list of sights she’d never imagined seeing. “I see you’ve… heard a little about me, as well.”

Angus pushed his glasses up, one hand grabbing the wand he kept holstered at his hip, in a little belt. “Sir, may I ask what you’re doing here?”

“I’d like to know that myself,” Killian added, sending Magnus and Merle a suspicious glance. Angus suddenly paled as something occurred to him.

“Are you… are you here for…?” He trailed off, obviously unwilling to even finish his thought. Carey was thinking it too. Thankfully, Kravitz shook his head.

“No. No, I’m not here for Taako- or, well, I’m not here to take him to the Astral Plane.”

“We’re on a rescue mission, kid, Merle cut in. “Istus asked the Raven Queen to send us help, and _this_ ,” he jabbed his thumb towards Kravitz, who looked a little put out by his tone, “is what we got. We’re going in to get Taako back.”

“You are absolutely _not_ ,” Killian snapped, storming up the path to join them, arms crossed as she stopped next to Angus. Noelle and Carey followed suit. “The Director had _specific_ orders - no one’s going in there until we have more information on how to get Taako _out._ ”

“Oh, no, it’s _totally_ fine,” Merle said, but Carey could recognize his bullshitting voice from a mile away. “The Director just sent us, it’s cool. We’re just going to go in, get Taako out, easy-peasy.”

“Bullshit,” Killian said, echoing Carey’s thoughts again. “Not only have we heard nothing from the Director about this, but we haven’t found anything since you thr- you two came back.” She pressed through, ignoring her slip-up. “We still don’t know what happened to Taako, and until we know more about what’s _in_ there? No one’s going in.”

“Killian, we _know_ what’s in there,” Magnus snapped. Through the orcs statements, the human had been tensing defensively. “We were _there,_ remember? We know what to expect better than anyone!”

Killian scowled - Carey knew that look. Killian was stubborn on a good day. On a bad day, she could set her heels and become an immovable object, and it had been a bad few days. “Yeah, you knew what to expect - except for whatever happened to Taako. What if you to go in and whatever happened happens again?” Magnus flinched, and she stepped up to him, matching him eye-to-eye. “You three are the only ones capable of retrieving the relics - there’s only one left, we can’t afford to lose you now. Any of you,” she added, after a brief pause.

Kravitz cleared his throat. “Actually,” he cut in, “we have a fairly good idea of what might have happened to Taako, and I can tell you that these two aren’t at risk for that. It only goes after elves.”

Killian glared at him. “This isn’t any of your business.”

To Carey’s surprise, his eyes narrowed, and he glared right back. “Actually, since my boss, _the Raven Queen_ , specifically offered me this task at the behest of _Istus,_ goddess of _fate_ , I’d say it’s very much my business, even without taking into account the fact that - that I owe them for their help against Legion.”

Carey snorted at his falter. “Really? That’s the angle you’re working?” she asked before she could stop herself. He shot her a sullen glare that was more embarrassed than intimidating, and she tilted her head, curious. Did… did he _not_ know that she and Killian knew? Based on how dodgy he was being, it was a fair bet that the boys didn’t know, either, but… Carey and Killian had been _at_ the Chugg’n’Squeeze. Taako had waved at them a few times during the class, and they _never_ missed a new couple in the few couples’ nights activities on the moon.

“Killian, look,” Magnus said, bringing Carey back to the conversation. He hadn’t backed down from Killian’s stare. “The Bureau’s whole deal is about fate and balance and shit. Do you really think pissing off the goddess of those things is a good idea? We _know_ Taako’s in there, we’ve _been_ through this before - we’re not fucking looking forward to it, but we know what to expect.” He rubbed his temple. “We’ll go in, grab Taako, and be back out before you know it. And hey, Kravitz even has his scythe to make a portal to get us out, so we can leave as soon as we get him, no bullshit.”

(Kravitz gave the human a puzzled glance, but didn’t say anything.)

Killian still wasn’t convinced, planted firmly between Magnus and Wonderland. Carey’s stomach churned. She’d like to be right there beside her, stopping the boys. When they’d come back from Wonderland without Taako, she’d been worried that her words had gotten him killed, but Killian… Killian had a lot of tough love for the three assholes. She’d been the one to bring them in (certainly a high-point of her career in the Bureau), she’d made herself responsible for their training, tried to work any case that they might get their hands on. Killian didn’t like to leave something half-done, and had been one of the people pushing the Reclaimers as hard as she could in the months leading up to Wonderland.

It had been hard on her, realizing that it hadn’t been enough. And Carey knew, like she knew her own mind, that Killian did not want to see any more of them fall in the field.

Unfortunately, in the months Carey had spent training Magnus and becoming best rogue-y buddies with him, she’d gotten to know his mind as well. And while Killian was an immovable object… Magnus was an unstoppable force.

Merle broke the tension, stepping between the two of them and gently pushing them back. “Hey, hey, c’mon guys, no need to fight,” he soothed. “Killian - you have a point. We weren’t prepared for what happened to Taako. But we’re not prepared to risk it happening to anybody else, either. Bones -” (Kravitz sighed a little at his nickname) “-has already said it can’t take us the way it took Taako, and we know what we’re up against this time. And think about it - if Lucretia doesn’t send us anyway, she’s gonna have to send a Regulator team in. You guys might be able to hold your own, but we don’t wanna risk losing Team Sweet Flips, right? And anyone else would get chewed up!”

Killian’s eyes flicked over to Carey, who gave her a near imperceptible shrug. He wasn’t wrong - some of the teams that had entered Wonderland were far more powerful, well equipped, or both, compared to the average BoB regulator. She knew Killian would still take the job in a heartbeat, and of course Carey would go with her. Noelle wouldn’t leave them on their own, either.

But going in and getting out were two different things, and Carey’s rogue senses tingled fiercely at the thought of entering Wonderland. She didn’t want the Reclaimers going back, either, but… if they’d chosen this, there wasn’t much they could do.

“Besides,” Merle continued, a little more hesitantly. “I don’t think you’d really try to stop us, anyway. I mean, if you tried, when we got by you, we’d be worse-equipped for Wonderland, and if we died…” He paused, but the implication hung heavy in the air. His point was made. “And, if you succeeded, then what? Report us to Lucretia, who’ll - what? Lock us up forever for wanting to save our friend?” He gestured to Wonderland, the walls of which were cycling through their pattern, black and white, black and white. “Kill, this ain’t relic thrall - this is good ol’fashioned having your teammate’s back.” He looked pointedly over to Noelle, and Carey, then back up at Killian, one bushy eyebrow raised. “You understand what that’s like.”

Wow. Carey didn’t know Merle had that kind of persuasion in him. He had a very good point at the beginning, but he’d really hit the nail on the head with the last part.

Carey had been a rogue long before joining the Bureau of Balance. Alliances were easily made and broken, “friends” and “teammates” considered more tactical, _disposable_ resources than people you’d actually trust. The BoB’s way of things, and, specifically, _Killian_ _’s_ way of things with their Regulator team, sat much better with the blue dragonborn. But there were downsides to that kind of trust. Downsides like what happened to Boyland.

They both told one another that it hadn’t been their fault. If Boyland wanted to smoke, nothing and no one was going to tell him no. Not even pink tourmaline, it seemed.

It still hurt. And if Carey hadn’t agreed with Merle’s side of the argument, she’d have called him out for his shitty low-blow.

Killian sighed. She didn’t relax, but there was a sense of resignation about her. “I can’t lie to the Director about this, guys.”

“Take a walk around the perimeter,” Merle suggested. “You can say you never saw us go in.”

Killian frowned, but nodded reluctantly. Then, she shot Taako’s boytoy a narrow glare. “And, I want a word with _this_ one before you go.”

To his credit, and Carey’s begrudging respect, he didn’t balk under Killian’s glare - simply glanced over to check with the other two Reclaimers before nodding. “Alright.”

Kilian nodded back and stalked off, and, after a second’s hesitation, Kravitz followed, picking his way carefully over the rough ground.

Now was Carey’s chance. “Hey, Mags, can I get a one-on-one with you real quick, too?”

“Yeah… yeah. Sure thing.”

She led him a way away from the others, their voices fading behind them. Still, her keen roguish perception caught enough of the conversation as they left.

“Oh, what am I then, chopped liver?”

“I’ll talk with you, sir!”

“…oh, _great_.”

“…Merle… do ya’ll think you’re gonna be… _okay_ , in there? Again, I mean.”

“…” She heard the weight of Merle’s hesitation. “Yeah, yeah. So long as tall dark and skeletal doesn’t stab us in the back.”

“He seemed pretty nice after the Miller’s lab kerfuffle.”

“Yeah, he also crystallized my arm off.”

“…oh. Right.”

Carey shook her head, turning her attention back to the conversation she wanted to have with Magnus. A conversation she had been dreading.

“So…” Mags dragged the syllable out, and she made herself look at the fighter. “What’s up?”

“Do you remember the last piece of advice I gave you?” she asked abruptly. No preamble would make this conversation better, so she might as well… well, rush in. Look at her, taking a piece from Magnus’s book. “When you finished your rogue training.”

“Uh…” He seemed hesitant. “Maybe? Like, on the last day of training, or during my final test?”

“Your final test. I told you something, do you remember what it was?”

“Umm…” His eyes lit up suddenly. “Oh! Yeah. About how rogues are about not getting hit.”

“Okay. There was a second part to it…?”

He frowned, thinking for a few seconds. “Oh. About not taking the big hit?”

“Yeah.” She had to look away, scratching at some loose scaling on the back of her neck. “You, uh… you guys took a lotta big hits in Wonderland, huh?”

“Yeah, we… definitely did. Your training helped out a lot, though!”

“I’m glad to hear that,” she said, allowing herself a small smile. It faded quickly, though. “I just- okay, Mags, this is kind of a… shitty question? But… Did- did Taako… you know…” She turned her gaze back to him, but wouldn’t, couldn’t, meet his eyes. “Did Taako take the… the big hit?”

The question she wanted to ask, if Taako had taken the big hit _specifically_ because Carey asked Magnus not to, hung over her, but it had choked in her throat.

Magnus’s face darkened, and for a moment she worried she’d been right… but his expression was anger, not anguish, and if Carey had been right, if Magnus had held back and Taako had been killed… even if it were Carey’s fault for telling him to, Magnus would have been devastated. “No,” he grit out. “He didn’t.” A wash of relief swept over the dragonborn, but she didn’t have time to enjoy it as Magnus continued. “I- I don’t know what the Director told you, about…” he trailed off, gesturing with one hand to the enormous tent structure.

“Not much. We were pretty much sent down here as soon as she knew Taako was missing.”

“Wonderland cheated. We won, they gave us the relic and let us go, but…” he trailed off, and this time she caught that trace of anguish across his expression, briefly. “Merle and I went through the exit, but it closed before Taako could. There wasn’t any like, time limit or anything - they just told us to _go_ , so we thought… we thought it was okay.” He rubbed one hand over his face, and Carey reached out, placing a hand on his shoulder and pretending she didn’t see the hint of moisture he brushed away from his eyes. He took a deep breath. “Kravitz did some research - he said that Wonderland like, collects elves? So, even if he had gone through first, maybe they would have found a way to split us up, or maybe that was their goal from the beginning. We don’t know, but…” he shook his head.

“But you’re gonna get him back,” Carey said softly. He nodded, then gave her a watery smile.

“I may have to take a few big hits to do it, but…”

On an impulse, she wrapped her arms around him, pulling the larger human into a hug. “Not with that rogue training, you won’t,” she teased, lightening the mood. “Just- be careful. You just got back, it would be pretty shitty to lose my best friend and student to some stupid dungeon he’d already beat.”

He chuckled, awkwardly returning the hug. “Yeah, that would be pretty dumb of me, huh?” She pulled away, ruffling his weird mammal hair, and he made a face. “So, was that all you wanted to say?”

“I guess so.” She glanced over her shoulder - Merle, Noelle and Angus were still talking, and Killian and Kravitz were a ways beyond them. She felt better, now that she’d talked to Magnus, but looking towards Wonderland, she could see the billboards lining the way. Taako’s face shone out at them, smiling under the three men’s names, and her stomach sank again. “Let’s go see if Killian’s finished chewing Kravitz out.”

“He’s actually been really nice, recently,” Magnus said as they made their way back to the group. “Like, I tried to deck him when he first showed up, and he’s still helping us. He found out a lot about Wonderland, too.”

“I can see why he’d be invested,” Carey replied, shooting Magnus a glance and an imitation of a waggled eyebrow (her brow-ridges did the trick for the most part).

He stared blankly at her.

“Um… because like… Taako?” More blank staring, and she realized abruptly that he didn’t _know_. “Oh, uh… nevermind. It’s nothing.”

“…okay?”

She was saved from having to explain to her best friend that one of his best friends was boning down the Grim Reaper by Noelle, as they got back within earshot of the group (Killian and Kravitz had apparently finished talking about the same time they had, and were walking up as she and Magnus were). “Anything we can do for you all before you head in?”

“I think we’ve got everything we need,” Kravitz said, looking over at the other two to confirm. Merle shrugged, looking to Magnus, who nodded.

“Time to rescue Taako.”

“That’s my cue,” Killian said. She started to walk off, dutifully keeping a safe distance from the edge of Wonderland, crossbow in hand. Carey looked over at Noelle, questioningly, and the robot-halfling nodded. She turned to Magnus one more time.

“Seriously though,” she said quietly. “Be careful in there.”

He nodded, looking more confident than he had when he’d first arrived. It was a pleasant change, one she was glad to have helped with, however she had. She nodded, then turned tail, scurrying to catch up with Killian.

She didn’t want to watch that tent wall flicker, black and white, before stopping on a pitch-black portal.

She didn’t want to see her friends and her friend’s boyfriend walk into what could almost certainly be a trap.

Instead, she clasped hands with Killian, and her girlfriend squeezed her hand, each speaking volumes and staying silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will actually be in Wonderland, I prooommmise~! (And it won't take me four months!)


	6. Unemployment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kravitz has some very intense talks

“Don’t take two days again?”

“I will do my best not to,” Kravitz promised, before stepping through the portal. To his surprise, it didn’t lead to the corridors of the Eternal Stockade, as he’d meant. Instead, he stood face to face with his Queen, in Her throne room, and he hurried to dismiss his scythe and bow. “My Queen.”

She waved him off. _No time for formalities, Kravitz, S_ he said, sounding sorrowful. Her form was once again that of a woman, though Her mouth didn’t move as She spoke, drawn up into a thin, tight line. _You have made a decision, regarding your mission._

“I… yes. I have.” That line pulled taut, and he hurried to explain. “Wonderland goes far, far beyond just this incident - there may be hundreds of souls ensnared there, and-” She held up a hand, and he fell silent.

 _You do not have to justify your reasoning,_ She said. _You have long worked in my employ, and I trust your judgment._ She lingered on that statement, allowing it to hang in the air between them.

“Has… has something upset you, my Queen?”

She gazed down at him, Her visage becoming more gaunt as the moments passed, until She had shifted completely from Her form as the Widow to that of the Crone - still standing straight, still imposing, but Her cheeks had sunken in, Her skin drawn tight, and Her eyes held mourning that Kravitz had seen before, reflected in hundreds of people who had lost someone. _Kravitz, as you are, there is no way for you to enter Wonderland._

He stared at Her, not comprehending. “I… don’t understand. What do you mean?”

 _Other Gods have been investigating Wonderland as you have,_ She told him, _and one thing has become abundantly clear. No Hand of the Gods may enter._  Her gaze, even shadowed by Her brow, was piercing. _Kravitz, you are my hand. My acolyte, my avatar, my blade in the world. You are an excellent disciple, and your service means a great deal. Wonderland will not let you enter._

Kravitz reeled slightly at the finality of Her words, frowning. “Is,” he started, dragging the word out. He didn’t want to question Her - Her guidance had always been true in the past, _was_ always true. She was death, and Her word was always final, but… “Is there no way around that?”

Her garnet eyes fell closed, and a single tear escaped the corner of Her eye. _There is,_  She whispered, before Her form flew apart. He was knocked back, buffeted by hundreds of thousands of wings as She swelled, filling Her dais, Her throne room with Her presence. He set his feet, pulling his cloak up to shield himself, and though the wind abated, the room still stirred with a grim chorus of cawing and croaking, the rhythmic wing-beats building to an awful crescendo. Slowly, he lowered his cloak, taking in a sight he had not seen since She had first taken him into his employ. On every possible surface perched a raven, their eyes glowing with what could have been malice. They lined the windowsills, the empty twists of the birdcage throne, the crevices and alcoves, surrounded him on the floor and circled overhead, crying out in accusation. He knew what they were - these were not Her, these were other servants of Hers, Her eyes and ears when he was needed somewhere specific, but he had never seen them summoned in such mass, not since-

Then he saw Her, standing before him in Her true form, and he dropped to his knees, averting his eyes.

_Look at Me._

 

He could not disobey Her command, and wrenched his eyes back, feeling all that he was exposed before Her as once before.

_Kravitz. As the Hand of the Raven Queen, you have served me well. I have a task to ask of you, but it comes at a great price. One so great, I cannot order you to undertake it. If you accept, you will be permitted entrance to Wonderland, to rescue the elf Taako Taaco, acolyte of Istus, and free the souls trapped within Wonderland_ _’s walls. To do so, you will be removed from my employ._

 

A pall settled over him as he stared, disbelieving, at his Goddess.

_Your status as my Hand would be revoked, your privileges and power stripped from you. To do this would mean your death, but in the interest of your mission, I can provide you a boon. It would last only as long as your mission, and be revoked should you return successfully._

 

Achingly, he opened his mouth. “And, should I fail…?”

_Should you fail, you would face the same fate as the rest of Wonderland_ _’s imprisoned. This is not a decision to make lightly, Kravitz. The Gods ask it of you, but with your very soul at stake, I cannot command it. The choice rests with you._

 

Overwhelmed, he closed his eyes again, and She allowed him to do so. He had been dead for far longer than he had ever been alive - most of his existence was his job, his position as the Hand of the Raven Queen, and without it, he was - what? What he had been in life, he could hardly recall. The idea of leaving his post, of cutting his tie to the Raven Queen scared him, gripped him at his core and quaked him.

But… She had asked this of him. She had asked many things of him over his time here, nothing as grave as this, but nothing was asked lightly with the Raven Queen. He had stepped up to every task She’d asked of him. She was his Queen.

He thought of Magnus and Merle, too, waiting for him on the Material Plane. He couldn’t let them down. And the souls, trapped in Wonderland, and Taako, _Taako-_

Death did not scare him. Mortality did not scare him. To be separated from the Raven Queen would only truly last as long as he existed on the Material Plane, and no one knew better than he did that everyone’s time there was limited. The only thing to truly fear here, then, was that they would not succeed in their rescue.

He would not allow that.

He could not afford to allow that.

And to ensure that, he had to be there.

He opened his eyes again, crimson alight with determination set in his features, and looked up at his Goddess. Around the room, the Ravens became restless, their cries growing louder, feathers and wings ruffling and fluttering in agitation.

_You have made a decision._

 

“I have,” he answered, without his earlier hesitation, rising to his feet. “With your blessing, My Queen… I would take this mission.”

_So be it. Summon your scythe._

 

He did so, wordlessly.

_You have been a beloved servant, Kravitz. Perhaps when you find your way back to my realm, you may reenter my employ._

 

A murder of Ravens descended upon him.

When his sense of self returned to him, he felt much the same as before, if a bit heavier. The conversation he’d just had felt distant, but he was aware of what had transpired. He would have thought the change would be more significant.

He looked down at the scythe in his hands, his weapon of choice all these years, clasped in his hands, and…

He could feel a pulse. His own, thumping slowly through his skin, against the ebony-stained wood. It wasn’t his heart - that felt as dead as ever, in his chest - but magic ran through him, keeping him tethered to this form, animated.

The closest thing to alive he could ever be, under the Raven Queen’s powers yet outside Her employ.

She was gone, he noticed. The only sign of what had happened was the scattering of feathers around him, not from Her, but from Her servants, the Ravens. He was alone.

And _that_ was when it hit him - the suddenness of the realization, that subconscious reach for his Goddess, only to find nothing _there_. He dropped again, shutting his eyes tightly, a few ragged breaths escaping him, strange and uncomfortable and unnecessary, even in this form, but it did a little to assuage the hollow in his chest, so he indulged a few more, slowing to deeper breaths. He couldn’t afford to fall apart right now. He had a job to do, he had chosen this path for a reason.

Slowly, he brought himself to his feet again, recollected himself, and hefted his scythe aloft. He was glad She had left him with this, at least, he thought - traveling back to the Material Plane on his own would have been a nightmare.

The scythe cut through the air, creating a tear as per usual, and he stepped through - only to trip on the bottom.

He’d have to get used to having a body again…

He caught himself, fortunately, and the rift disappeared behind him. He looked up, pushing his braids out of his face, to see Magnus and Merle looking up at him. “Sorry about that,” he said. “My boss needed a word, before we set off. Where were we?”

Merle shrugged. “We need to get off the moon base without arousing suspicion. Pan said you might be able to do it. Any ideas?”

Pan? He hadn’t thought the nature God would have contacted Merle… though, he suppose he should have realized He would. Merle was a devotee, after all. As for a way to get to Wonderland…

He smiled, and hefted his scythe. “Why yes, I believe I can manage that.” 

—

Meeting the Regulators had been… awkward.

It had been a delight to finally meet Angus - he hadn’t been lying when he said he’d heard a lot about him. Taako tended to ramble whenever he’d had a glass or two, and for all his denying that he enjoyed Angus’s company, he certainly had a lot of (begrudgingly) nice things to say about the boy. That delight had been somewhat tempered by the detective’s clear readiness to try and blast Kravitz back to the Astral Plane, but he was impressed with how quickly he’d put it together. His chest had clenched awkwardly when Angus looked like he was about to cry at the thought of him coming to take Taako.

Convincing them took some doing, and he’d taken _personal_ offense at the orc woman’s (Killian, he remembered that) insinuation that he had nothing at stake here. Merle had been their group’s saving grace - he wasn’t exactly sure what it was he’d said that had convinced them, there seemed to be some sort of implication that he’d missed - but Merle knew what he was doing, somehow, and the Regulators agreed to let them pass.

But not without throwing them one last curve-ball.

“And, I want a word with this one before you go,” she said, shooting Kravitz a squinting glare.

He raised an eyebrow, looking over at Magnus and Merle, who just gave him the facial equivalents of shrugs, before he nodded. “Alright.”

Killian returned the nod, still glaring, before turning and stalking off. Kravitz followed the her away from the rest of the group. She gave them quite a bit of space before she turned around, crossing her arms and staring him down.

He gestured to her. “What did you want to talk about?”

“Why are you _really_ here?”

He tilted his head. “To rescue Taako. I thought we made that pretty clear.”

“Magnus and Merle have a good reason, though.” She narrowed her eyes down at him. “I want to know about why _you_ _’re_ here. And if you’re going to keep those two boys safe.”

“I’ll do my best to make sure all _three_ come back safe,” he said. She just raised one eyebrow, and he sighed. “Look, I don’t know what you want me to say. It doesn’t seem like you’ll trust me to bring them back either way.”

She snorted. “I trust you to bring _Taako_ back.” That caught him off guard. “It’s the other two I don’t trust with you. Last time you saw them, you tried to kill them, and almost turned Merle to pink tourmaline.”

He cast back through his memories of the Miller lab incident. He knew he’d been trying to kill them at that point, but he hadn’t targeted Magnus or Merle any more than Taako… Well, maybe Merle. A little. For a good reason. But… “If you’ll excuse the question - and this isn’t a complaint, mind, but - why exactly do you trust me with Taako, then?”

She rolled her eyes. “The Chugg’n’Squeeze?”

Kravitz felt his gut drop, which was not a pleasant sensation.

“Carey and I go to _every_ couples’ night on the moon, and we’ve seen you two around, you making goo-goo eyes at Taako while he’s… being Taako. Either you’ve got it really bad for him, or you’re the best actor Carey’s ever seen. And she knows people.” She pointed one thumb back the way they came, at Magnus and Merle. “Taako can take care of himself. We actually chased him down to check in with him, after we saw you two. You’re not dragging him off to the afterlife anytime soon. But as far as I can see, you’ve got no good reason not to turn those two in, and I’m pretty sure Taako’s never told them about you two, so I can’t see how you convinced them to join this rescue party in the first place.” She folded her arms again, and fixed him with a _look_ , and he was suddenly and abruptly hit by a memory of his mother - face and name long forgotten, but he remembered that pose, that tone of voice that said “You’ve got one chance to tell me the truth.”

He shook himself, not quite sure where that had come from. Had his severance from the Raven Queen’s employ caused some sort of side effect…? But, no, he could dwell on that later. Killian was still waiting for an answer.

He took a deep breath. “Merle wasn’t lying when he said the Raven Queen sent me, but I had already reached out to them, before that point. I…” He wondered how much he really had to tell her, and decided on the shorter version. “I had something of an intuition, I suppose you’d say, that something bad had happened to Taako. I went to their dorm to check in on him, and ran into them instead. They told me what had happened, and-”

“Hold on.” She held up a finger. “They just accepted you were there. In their rooms.”

“Magnus did try to haymaker me.” The thought, the memory, gave him a shot of adrenaline he was unaccustomed to, but he pushed it down easily. It must have been the magic animating him, he thought, badly replicating life. Nothing he couldn’t deal with. “Merle calmed him down - more for Magnus’ sake than mine, I think,” he added hastily at her skeptical look, “but it gave me a chance to explain why I was there. We- I made amends with them, but I think you’re right, they don’t know about Taako and me. I told them I’d checked in with him after Refuge, and cleared their bounties.” He paused. “Again, I might add. They were more open telling me about Wonderland, after that.”

He paused, looking for her reaction. She simply gestured for him to continue, and he cleared his throat. “When they were done, I… did a little research of my own, into Wonderland. I told them that when we knew more, I would help them get Taako back, _alive_ , and my Queen gave me Her blessing to do so. But the rescue plan started as Magnus’ idea, not mine.”

Killian sighed, one of slight exasperation. “Yeah, that last part sounds about right,” she grumbled. “So Magnus probably trusts you, then. He trusts too easy. What about Merle?”

Kravitz had to think about that one. “I… think he’d take any opportunity to remind me about his arm, but in a pinch, I think he’d give me the benefit of the doubt. I think Pan might have vouched for me, too…”

“And you’d help them?” she pressed.

He frowned. “Yes.”

“For Taako?”

“Not just for him. He’d probably be right pissed if I brought him back and got his two friends killed. And on top of that…” He hesitated again, wondering how much he should tell her. Too much might reverse her position on letting them through, and Merle was right - they needed to save everything they had for Wonderland. But, the longer he hesitated, the more that suspicion in her eyes grew. So, he decided to give her half the truth. “On top of that, the gods have plans for these three. The Bureau, the Relics… even Wonderland, are all things that the gods have been unable to affect on their own. Even without my personal stakes, my Goddess offered me the task of keeping them alive. For the good of the world.”

Killian’s eyes had widened slightly through his statement. “They’re really that important, huh?”

He smiled wryly. “It would appear so.”

“Huh.” She shook her head, disbelief written on her features, but the kind that was a last reserve against trickery, when truth was ousting what you thought you believed. “You said your Goddess offered you this job? She didn’t just… order you?”

“She can’t, in situations like this,” he admitted. Fate and choice were powerful things, though this was the first time he had been so caught up in them. “She can only ask. I willingly took the task.”

She blinked at him. “You know, if those three are so important, you could be a casualty,” she said, voice probing. He just shrugged.

“I’ve already died once.” He didn’t mention the other dangers lurking in Wonderland, ones that could stop souls from moving past the prime material plane… or what he had already given up. “If it meant protecting them, and the world… Well. I would do what I had to.”

She was eying him over again, but the suspicion had vanished entirely. “I think I misjudged you,” she said, begrudging respect in her tone. “Have you told the boys about… all of that?”

He grimaced. “No, absolutely not. Just because the gods are looking after them, doesn’t mean they can’t die, and they _already_ think they’re invincible.”

That earned him a short, barked laugh, and an actual smile from the orcish woman. “You’re right about that,” she agreed, sticking out a hand for him to shake. “Take good care of them, then?”

“You have my word,” he replied, taking her hand. She jumped a little at the contact, looking down at his hand, puzzled. “Something wrong?”

“It’s nothing,” Killian replied quickly, pulling her hand away. “I just - Taako said you were cold, so I was sort of expecting…”

“Ah.” He smiled again, a little tighter, uncomfortable with the stretch of it on his face. “Yes, the Raven Queen sent me off with something of a boon. The dead aren’t allowed in Wonderland, and I’m… somewhat of an exception, now.”

She shot him a curious look, but didn’t push it. “Well, whatever gets you in the door, I guess…” She looked back over to the group, and sighed. “I’d rather no one went in, but that doesn’t seem possible. And the longer we wait, well…” she gestured to the imposing tent, and he nodded in silent agreement. The two of them lingered for a moment, before she looked back towards the group and frowned. He followed her gaze, noticing Merle, Noelle Redcheek, and Angus talking… and off past them, Magnus and the dragonborn, Carey. The two of them hugged suddenly, and he glanced back to Killian for her thoughts. Her frown, which had been one of concern, had become more sympathetic.

“C’mon,” she said without preamble, heading back. “You guys have an elf to save.”

They walked back to the group, Merle and Angus falling silent at their approach. Noelle looked them over then towards Carey and Magnus, making their way back. “Looks like everyone’s here,” the former halfling said. Kravitz could see the nervous flicker of her soul, even embedded in crystal and wires and steel. It always made him uncomfortable to see souls in anything but their natural body, but hers seemed happy enough where it was. “Anything we can do for you all before you head in?”

“I think we’ve got everything we need,” he replied, glancing to Magnus and Merle for confirmation.

Magnus nodded. “Time to rescue Taako.”

“That’s my cue,” Killian said, turning and walking off. After a short, quiet exchange with Magnus, Carey joined her, leaving the five of them by the entryway. As if expecting them, the walls began to slow their flashing pattern, leaving longer gaps between the flicker of black and white, until it finally slowed to a stop. A shadowed doorway appeared on the white surface, stark and finite in contrast. Above it, a sign appeared, their names scrawled in a flashy but clear font - Kravitz. Magnus. Merle.

Kravitz didn’t hesitate, moving for the door, Merle and Magnus right behind him.

“Good luck,” came Noelle’s tinny voice.

“B-be safe, si-!” came Angus’, cutting off as they entered Wonderland.

The immediate silence was almost oppressive. All the ambient noise of the Felicity Wilds fell away when Angus’ voice did, leaving the three of them in pitch black silence, aside from the soft tread of their footfalls on the ground. Even his dark-vision gave him nothing, so he stopped. A second later, he stumbled forward as Merle, then Magnus walked straight into him.

“Well, this is pretty much the same,” Magnus said after they’d straightened themselves out. His tone was optimistic, but there was a forced quality to it, betraying the discomfort that Kravitz was feeling too. “I guess the elves will show up soon…?”

There was a long moment of quiet, and then without fanfare a voice broke in above them. “Pardon the wait, darlings, but you three are something of an anomaly,” a lighthearted feminine voice echoed through the darkness. Magnus and Merle tensed up behind the Reaper, and Kravitz gripped his scythe more tightly.

“It’s so rare we have contestants come _back_ , you see!” an equally spirited man called. With a click, a light came on, illuminating a circle in the center of the room, where a twin pair of elves leered at them with barely disguised malevolence.

Kravitz knew some of what to expect - based on the adventurers’ reactions, these were the same two elves that had led them through Wonderland before, and Merle had filled him in about them. In person, he could see what Merle meant when he’d said there was something disturbing about them. The violently manic expressions seemed to hide something even more sinister underneath, but the surface was too turbulent to get a sense of what it could be.

“And it’s doubly rare for a contestant to be someone as prestigious as the Grim Reaper _himself_ ,” the woman elf finished, pulling down her cat-eye sunglasses to shoot him a long-lashed wink. “Still,” she added, pushing them back into place and linking her fingers together, suddenly serious, “that does pose a few logistical problems, in terms of following the _rules_ here in Wonderland. I’m sure our winners here told you about some of them, hmm?”

“You go through the games until you’ve ‘earned your prize,’ Kravitz said cautiously. He still didn’t know what to expect from this place… and he had been hoping for a little more to go on than… this.

“Good, so you are up to speed! …somewhat,” the man said. “Don’t worry about the details of your game, your emcee will explain everything for your benefit.” He gestured grandly to Magnus and Merle. “Of course, our two _champions_ here won’t need a reminder! They absolutely _crushed_ it in their last challenge! No wonder you came back!”

Magnus growled, and Merle jabbed a finger at them. “We came back because _you_ kidnapped Taako.”

In perfect unison, they adopted twin looks of surprise, sharing shocked expressions.

“Kidnapped?”

“Us?”

“I do believe you’re mistaken.”

“Your friend showed interest in working with us, don’t you remember?” The woman smiled, too wide and too sharp. “We just kept him behind for a moment to make an offer on behalf of our… _employer_.” There was something about the way she said that word that chilled Kravitz. It reminded him of something dark, hiding in the depths of an ocean, biding its time… “He didn’t make any choice he didn’t want to.”

“But back to _logistics_ ,” the male elf sighed with disdain. “We’re very open about welcoming everyone into Wonderland, but there are a few exceptions that have to be made. To make it fair for everyone, you understand.” (Behind him, Merle grumbled something explicit and unrepeatable about Wonderland’s version of ‘fair.’) “The big one here is, you, Kravitz MacAllister-” he startled, surprised to hear his full name, “-are essentially immortal, thanks to your position as a Reaper, which gives you _quite_ the unfair advantage compared to our other contestants.”

He took a deep breath, somewhat relieved. “Is that the problem? I think you need to look again. I’m not immortal.” He didn’t add the _anymore_ to the end of that. They didn’t need to know about his status as a _former_ Reaper, and if they believed that he still held his position, he wasn’t about to dissuade the notion.

The twins peered down at him, lips twisting into pouts of confusion, and his peripheral, he could see Magnus and Merle giving him questioning looks. After a moment, the woman leaned back.

“Hm. So it would seem…” she said, quiet and thoughtful. The man quirked his head, a slow smile spreading across his face.

“How useful is it to have a Reaper who can die?”

“I suppose we’ll find out, James.”

“I suppose we will, Jessie.” He raised his voice again. “Well, with that cleared up, we’ll send you on your way!” Across the room, a light came up, illuminating another doorway. “Head on through, and your emcee will be with you shortly.” He bowed, the woman following suit, both keeping their faces up and grinning at them. “Good luck earning your prize, heroes!”

“You’re going to need it,” she finished, and with a snap of her fingers, they were gone. The spotlight that had been on them vanished, the room now only lit by the spotlight on the door and a dim, ambient light with no discernible source. Kravitz looked over at Magnus and Merle.

“Can they… still hear us?” he asked, keeping his voice low. Merle shrugged.

“We had a couple of conversations they didn’t seem to hear, so I think if we’re quiet, we’re okay… Mags also has the Pocket Workshop, if we need to like, plot.” He glanced up, then back at Kravitz. “What was all that about not being immortal? I thought you were like…” he gestured vaguely to the Reaper. “Already… dead? Like, all Skeletor and stuff.”

“You’d be right about the dead part, Merle,” he said simply. “And technically, you’re still right. I died a long time ago.”

“Then, how…?”

“I don’t-” He cut the dwarf off, hesitating over his choice of words. “I don’t want to go into the specifics of it _here._ ” He glanced meaningfully back up at the ceiling. “The gods tried to send agents here before. They… weren’t able to get in, thanks to some force blocking their influence. She… gave me a boon, of sorts, to fix that issue.”

“Uh-huh.” Magnus looked him over, curious. “So like… what exactly did she do?”

He smiled thinly. “She did a few things, but I suppose the most important thing is She gave me a body.” The two just stared blankly at him. “Normally, my form is… I guess, a very convincing illusion, or conjuration.”

“Or golem?” Merle chimed in. Kravitz winced.

“Yes, that too. It takes focus to maintain, but should anything happen to it-” he waved a hand, as if brushing something away, “it would just vanish, no real harm done. Since I’m- well, since I’m dead, being killed doesn’t mean much, but having a body like this gives the situation some consequences.”

Magnus crossed his arms, looking skeptical. “Dunno, that sounds like straight up breaking the rules. Aren’t you all about this ‘no-necromancy’ thing?”

“I’m not _alive_ ,” he insisted, starting to walk towards the door. This conversation was already dragging on, and frankly, he wanted to talk about it as little as possible. After being dead for so long, being in a body like this - even one that was only partially animate - was uncomfortable, and not something he wanted to dwell on. “Or undead, really. I’m just… alive enough.”

“Alive enough?” Magnus followed after him, Merle hot on his heels. “What does that mean?”

“It means I’m anchored to this body,” he said shortly. “I can’t just abandon ship if things get hairy, and if it dies, I go to the Astral Plane, just like any other soul. It’s really not that important.” He turned, gesturing to the open doorway. “Can we get back to the issue at hand? The part where we’re here to get Taako?”

The two adventurers shared a look, which he did not appreciate, and Merle snorted. “Alright, alright, don’t get huffy. We just wanna know what we’re getting into, you know?” He crossed his arms. “What would have happened if we got into a fight and assumed you were immortal? If we’re gonna win this thing, that’s important shit to know.”

“Merle’s got a point, dude.”

He frowned, baffled. “Wait, what? _That_ _’s_ your concern?”

“Well… yeah. I mean, we don’t want to like, bring down the Raven Queen’s wrath or anything by accidentally getting you killed, or have you die and get your soul stolen or something.” Magnus shrugged. “The goal is to get everyone in and get everyone and Taako out. Knowing that you _could_ die is pretty important.”

Kravitz didn’t have a good response for that. It was… a little humbling, actually. Even with the change in his body, he hadn’t really considered that death could be a consequence, not to him, but to his… teammates? It was probably for the best to start thinking of them like that.

“I… suppose you’re right,” he relented. “If I think of anything else that’s pertinent, I’ll try to keep you abreast of it.”

“Great.” Merle patted his side. “Now that that’s out of the way, I guess we should head on in.”

Kravitz nodded, heading for the door and almost colliding with Magnus, who was in a rush to rush in. He stepped back and let the human lead, ignoring the chuckle from Merle behind him, and stepped through.

The new room was as dark as the first one had been, and there was a similar moment of awkwardness as they bumped into each other and situated themselves. Then just darkness.

“…is it like this in _every_ room?”

“Yeah.”

“Pretty much.”

Kravitz was tempted to ask if anyone had a torch. It ended up being unnecessary, as a spotlight clicked on, shining away from them. Across the room stood a long, raised platform, like a walkway, and the light pointed up above the far end. He lifted his gaze, squinting against the abrupt light, and felt as if he’d been punched in the gut.

Next to him, Magnus whispered “Oh _shit_.”

Floating down from the ceiling, on a purple parasol, grinning broadly and dressed to _kill_ , was Taako Taaco.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're finally in Wonderland! I had hoped to have the first Wheel Spin in here, but... I guess we'll have to save it for the next chapter! :3


	7. Wheel Turned on its Head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys meet their emcee, and do a little gambling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cover art for this chapter was done by TomatoTimes on Tumblr, @tomato_times on Twitter, go check her out!

The three watched as Taako descended from the ceiling, shocked into silence after Magnus’s first exclamation. A few colored spotlights hit him on the way down, casting him in strange shadows and highlighting the sheen in the fabric of his outfit. His boots hit the stage, but made no sound, and his parasol hid his eyes from view.

He looked light, breezy - his whole outfit gave a sense of airiness. He wore a near-sleeveless tunic of with fluttering fabric that just covered his shoulders, tightened around his chest in a way that hugged his form sweetly, before billowing out again from the waist, ending just mid-thigh, that was purple and green and sparkled in its strange design. A skintight sleeveless bodysuit of a deeper, more royal purple lay beneath it, starting just below his chin and covering him to the toe, where he wore incredibly high-heeled boots, lined with exotic-appearing fur. The hands grasping the lilac parasol were covered in deep green velvety gloves, and covered with rings, wrists coated in bangles, ears perked despite the weight of jewelry. When Taako finally tilted the parasol enough for him to see the wizard’s face, he felt his magic-induced pulse skip a beat.

Dark kohl lined his eyes thickly, with gold-dust sparkling on his perfect lashes as he winked at them, grinning through purple lips. A faint flush brushed over his cheeks, and Kravitz felt himself charmed, even as the feeling of dread in his stomach grew.

On anyone else, it would have looked ridiculous.

On Taako, it looked _amazing._

But here? Here the deep purples and greens reminded Kravitz of thick thorny glades and poisonous flowers.

One hand raised up, the bangles clinking off one another as he lifted it to one side, lowering the parasol so it blocked all but his legs and his arm from view - and snapped his fingers.

The world exploded into sound and color. Underneath him, the floor lit up in flashing squares of light, purple, green, red, gold and blue, adding a kaleidoscope effect to the shadows of his face, cast by two enormous spotlights that locked on him, strobing as he moved down the runway towards the three of them.

They had expected something like this. Kravitz had warned them, had braced himself, that Taako might not be himself when they saw him again, that something else would be pulling his strings. But as Taako continued his performance (which included, at one point, blowing each of them a kiss. Kravitz blushed, hoping the other two wouldn’t notice), all Merle and Magnus could think about was how jazzed Taako had been about all the glamor of Wonderland, and honestly, that outfit looked like something that might have come straight from his closet… that enormous, overstuffed, probably enchanted closet.

Even his expressions were too much like Taako’s own cheeky grins. Merle and Magnus had been expecting more of a change, but… Taako just looked like Taako, not the scheming, sadistic, twisted version they’d been expecting. Then again, Jessie and James had seemed “normal,” too, at the beginning. The three of them shared a look, Merle squinting up at Kravitz, noticing a slight red across his cheeks -

Kravitz was unknowingly saved from any additional scrutiny by the finale of Taako’s performance, a cartwheel into a hand-spring flip, landing and dropping seamlessly into a split, all while somehow keeping his parasol and hat on him.

From over the lacy edge of the prop, Taako winked, snapping it closed and pointing it at Kravitz, gently pushing his jaw up from where it had fallen open.

“I was sort of hoping for applause,” he said as the music ended, still even sounding like Taako, “but I’ll take awed silence, too!” He tucked his legs back under himself, getting to his feet with remarkable dexterity. “Now allow me to welcome you… to _Wonderland_!”

Another fanfare played, making the three adventurers jump, and Taako disappeared in a burst of confetti. They all lurched forward, Magnus even giving a half-shout of “No-!” before Merle felt an arm resting on his head.

“And by welcome, I mean welcome _back_!” Taako continued, ruffling his hair with an oddly cool hand. Merle pulled away, fixing the damage as Taako stood there, grinning broadly at them. “I don’t think we’ve _ever_ had return guests in Wonderland. You’re causing _quite_ the stir!”

Oh, _there_ it was. There was something about Taako’s cadence just then, his word choice, phrasing, that sounded off, sounded more like the twins they’d seen earlier. Merle felt a wash of relief, then guilt - he wasn’t happy to see his friend under something else’s control, but… at least now they knew Taako wasn’t in control.

He hadn’t left them, he’d been taken, and Merle’s hand found its way to the worn cover of his Xtreme Teen Bible, hanging at his hip.

They were here to take him back.

“Taako, it’s us,” Magnus said, stepping forward. His voice was low, soothing, something one would use to comfort a skittish animal, not a powerful wizard. Normally, when he’d used it on Taako in the past, the wizard had just gotten huffy and stormed off. This time, he just batted his eyelashes at the human.

“Oh, I _know_ it’s you,” he cooed. Magnus pulled up short.

“Um… you do?”

“Taako’s little fan-club!”

“Your what,” Merle deadpanned, just as Magnus went “Huh?” and Kravitz made a strangled noise.

“What else?” He giggled, the sound making their skin prickle. “Coming into Wonderland to pick up a little slice of Taako, huh? Gotta say, I’m _flattered_.” He vanished, and Kravitz yelped as he reappeared just as quickly, draped over him - and the reaper was _definitely_ blushing now. “But you two know the rules; I’ll just explain ‘em again real quick for tall, dark, ‘n’ spooky here.”

He vanished again, reappearing on the stage and beaming at each of them in turn, winking at Kravitz. “Now, in Wonderland, we have-”

“Hold on,” Magnus cut in, but Taako just raised a finger.

“Ah-ah, Magnus, I already said - I know you’ve heard this before, but we’ve gotta get the cutie newbie in the loop, dig?”

“No, but-”

Taako plowed over whatever else he was going to say. “Here, we have rewards and riches, your very heart’s desire-” he blew a kiss to them, winking again, “ _Me._ And Wonderland will gladly give this to you, but! You’ve got to _earn_ it.”

He held up one hand, images popping up on the walls - some of which the three recognized - the Wheel, the Monster Factory Machine, Trust or Forsake… “We have a series of challenges - _games_ , really, to push you to your limits, really bring out the best in you. And once you’ve succeeded at these challenges, then… Bam!” A hand full of confetti exploded out from behind him. “You win, and you get to take your prize! Sound fun?”

“Not really,” Merle grumbled. “We’ve already been through this, remember? _You_ were with us.”

“Hmm?” Taako tapped his chin. “That’s odd - I was told Jessie and James led you through that round - and I’m certain I’d remember your faces if I’d seen them before, wouldn’t I?” A sense of dread fell over them as Taako continued. “Now, any questions?”

“Taako… do you not… _remember_ us?” Magnus asked, a tiny wisp of smoke curling through his lip. He half expected another flippant response, a grin and a wave, but instead, Taako looked… puzzled.

“No, I don’t,” he said, dropping the show voice he had been using earlier. “ _Should_ I?”

That hung in the air between them all, the silence stretching into something uncomfortable, like a joke that had landed poorly.

Taako clapped his hands together. “Oh-kaaaay,” he drawled, “now that… whatever that was has happened, let’s get started!” He slipped back into his act like an old familiar skin. “Now this one, you two will remember, is an oldie but a goodie - The Wheel of Suffering!”

With that, he disappeared, and a pair of spotlights came up on the wheel as it lowered into view. All three of them winced - Kravitz from his second-hand experiences through the deceased’s memories, and Duo Horny Bois from their more hands-on exposure. Taako’s voice echoed down from above. “You know the rules- well, you don’t, bone-daddy, but I’m about to explain them again, so no worries.”

Magnus snorted in surprise. “Did he just call you ‘bone-daddy?’” he whispered, incredulous, to Kravitz. Merle gagged.

“Gross.”

Kravitz, for his part, was trying not to let his emotions sneak across his face - namely, the sheer _embarrassment_ of the nickname, and the fondness that flared up at the ridiculous of it. Again, it was a very _Taako_ gesture, but the callous, offhanded way he said it sat at such an odd juxtaposition.

“So, to win your prize, that which you truly desire, you’ll have to prove yourself. With the Wheel of Sacrifice, you’ll spin, and give up whatever you land on. As you two know, refusing causes a penalty spin, but you can have as many of them as you’d like!” The spotlights flickered over the surface in a myriad of colors, and Kravitz leaned forward, getting a closer look at the symbols. He had seen a few of them before, and their consequences. A few still unnerved him deeply; the brain, for instance. His body, he could afford to lose in the long run. His mind and soul, on the other hand, were all he really had left. Once this was all over, he’d have to give up this form to return to the Raven Queen’s service - even taking Magnus and Merle’s words into consideration, he had less to lose there.

He really, really didn’t want to find out if Wonderland’s magic could affect the dead who escaped it.

Above the wheel, three lights blinked to life. “After you’ve sacrificed enough, the door to the next room will open! Sound good?”

Magnus gave a halfhearted, forced sounding cheer, and Merle echoed it. Kravitz turned, raising an eyebrow at them.

“You have to stay positive,” Magnus whispered, pointing upwards. Kravitz glanced up, to see the ceiling obscured by swirling black smoke. “I dunno what that shit is, but like… when you say negative things, you breathe out smoke.”

“Also if you get hit,” Merle added. Kravitz nodded in understanding.

“That… wasn’t _quite_ the enthusiastic response I wanted,” Taako’s voice filtered down. He sounded almost… disappointed. “Don’t you want to win your prize?”

“Well, yeah,” Merle said, “but, we’ve already done this before, we know its gonna suck.” A slip of black smoke escaped his lips, and Magnus face-palmed. “Shit.”

“Well of course it’s not going to be a cakewalk.” This time, Kravitz could definitely hear the disappointment in his voice, and he was suddenly reminded of their business meeting/date - _‘I’m afraid no one else will have me.’_

He stepped forward. “I’ll spin first.”

“Are you sure?” Magnus asked, and he nodded.

“The two of you have already been through here already,” he reasoned. “I still have a lot more to give, right off the bat.”

Magnus and Merle both heaved unconscious sighs of relief. “But like, you’re sure?” Magnus repeated.

“Everyone’s going to have to give up something at some point anyway,” Taako added from above. “But, tall death and handsome has a point. Two of you already _have_ given up a lot…” He lapsed into silence, and the three of them glanced at each other, bracing themselves. “You know what? Let’s switch things up a little bit!” Taako reappeared, smiling at them from the opposite side of the wheel. “It’s not every day we get veterans here, and besides -  I think I like your group. I mean, _clearly_ , you have good taste,” he preened, spinning his parasol behind one shoulder and winking, “but there’s just, something about you three…” he trailed off again, grin sharpening into a look of scrutiny, but before any of them could press the issue, he relaxed, continuing. “So, here’s the new deal - for _this_ round, and this round only, whatever you spin - you’ll _get_ something! No re-spins, though, can’t have you three gaming the system! Besides, you’ll still have to earn your prize.” He fixed Kravitz with a salacious smile, eyes lidded and sultry as he gestured to the wheel. “I believe you were going first?”

Kravitz nodded, stepping up to the wheel and trying to ignore the sinking feeling in his gut. In all the versions of Wonderland he’d seen through the eyes of the dead, this had _not_ been one of them. And deviation in a place like this, even when it looked good - _especially_ if it looked good - was something to be concerned about. He glanced back at Magnus and Merle, who shrugged. Taako gave him another wink, and a ‘go-ahead’ gesture, and Kravitz spun the wheel.

Body.

Taako’s eyes lit up. “Oooh, this is a good one,” he hummed, delighted. “And honestly, I can think of something _great_ to give you right off the bat!” He steepled his fingers together, peering over them at Kravitz with a sly smile. “If you take this deal, that body of yours will receive an upgrade - it won’t be just a construct anymore. It’ll be a full, living body, sturdier than what you’ve got now, incapable of being disrupted by anti-magic stuff - just good, old fashioned flesh and blood body.” His grin widened. Light winked off his teeth. “What do you say?”

That didn’t sound bad to Kravitz at all, honestly. This body was already close to being real, anyways, and being sturdier would give him an advantage later. Still, he looked back to Merle and Magnus again. They looked back at him, Magnus’s face full of worry, Merle’s set in a more resigned grimace. Wonderland didn’t give anything for free. There was some kind of cost to this, and he’d have to take it.

He turned back to Taako. “Deal.”

Taako smiled, and for a second, Kravitz’s heart clenched.

Then he started screaming.

 

—

 

Magnus dashed forward instantly, catching the Reaper’s falling form. He staggered a bit (Kravitz was heavier than he’d expected), but managed to support him, even as he struggled and thrashed, his voice giving out after the first few screams, a steady stream of smoke escaping him. “Taako, what the _hell_ did you _do_?”

“What? I gave him exactly what I said I would - a real, living body.” Taako inspected his nails idly. “With all the trappings that entails. Heartbeat, respiratory, all that good shit. Cha’boi the Reaper is just a little overwhelmed, that’s all. I’m _sure_ he’ll be good in a second.” He glanced up, looking over Kravitz as he shook in Magnus’s grip. “…or a few, maybe.”

“Okay, that’s pretty shitty,” Merle said, his voice carefully light. “But we knew it would be difficult, right?” He stepped forward. “Mags, you hold boneman until he gets back on his feet. I’ll take the next spin.”

Magnus looked down at Kravitz, who had finally stopped thrashing, and now lay limp against him, chest heaving. “Yeah, you go ahead…”

“Cool move, short-stack. Let’s give it a spin!” Taako cheered. Merle gave him a forced, wan grin, and spun the wheel.

It spun, and slowed, and landed on-

“Clock,” Taako announced. “Interesting…” He thought for a moment, then grinned. “Yes… yes, I think I have an appropriate offer. Merle, if you accept, you’ll have… a do-over! At some point, when you inevitably make a shitty decision, you’ll be able to choose to choose again. Deal?”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever moves us closer to beating this game,” Merle grumbled. “Deal.”

Taako tutted admonishingly. “That kind of attitude isn’t going to get you very far, but hey! Who am I to tell champions what they’re going to do?” Another light blinked out, and he turned to face Magnus, who was still holding Kravitz. “Alright, you’re up!”

Magnus and Merle carefully shuffled Kravitz between them - he was supporting a little of his own weight, now, so Merle had to prop him up more than anything - and Magnus stepped up to the wheel, and spun.

“Eye. That’s a good one,” Taako said, tapping the eye symbol on the wheel. “And I’ve got the perfect offer for you. Magnus; if you take this, you’ll have… Dark-vision.” He snickered. “Finally, you won’t be a liability the second the lights go out!”

“Okay, one, that’s kind of harsh, Taako,” Magnus said, crossing his arms. “And two, how would you _know_ that, unless you’d adventured with us before, hm? Ringing any bells?”

Taako rolled his eyes. “Look, bubbelah, you’re _human_ , not being able to see in the dark is like, your _thing_. Anybody could have told you that. The question is, are you taking it? Or not?”

Magnus eyed the wheel warily, but sighed. “Deal,” he said, before blinking rapidly as the entire room brightened suddenly. “Oh, shit!”

The final light snuffed out, and with it went Taako and the Wheel. “We’re off to a good start, I think!” Taako’s voice echoed from above. “Now, lessee what challenges face you next. Head on through the door - I’ll see you three in the next room!”

Magnus frowned in the general direction of his voice, before turning to Merle and Kravitz. “You doing better, Kravitz?”

“Hhhhh…” the Reaper croaked, swallowing heavily before trying again. “Hhh-how do you _stand_ it all?”

“It isn’t that bad,” Merle said. “Taako’s said plenty worse when he _wasn_ _’t_ mind controlled by-” but Kravitz was shaking his head.

“N-not that.” He took a deep, shuddering breath, pulling away from them to stand more on his own. “I mm-mmeant… _this_.” He gestured to himself. “Being alive, it’s… _exhausting_ , there’s so much going on, I-” He reached a hand up, gingerly touching his dreads. “Oh Goddess, I think I can feel my _hair_ growing.”

“Well, the good news is that you’ll probably get used to that… and also, congratulations on being alive, again, I guess?” Magnus looked over to Merle. “Is that a “congratulations” sort of scenario?”

“It’s not,” Kravitz intercepted, voice sounding closer to norm. He took a few deep breaths, testing things out. The steady stream of smoke slowed to a trickle, then disappeared entirely as he got a hold of himself. “This place shouldn’t have that kind of power. I’ve been dead for…” he faltered. “For - well, far longer than I was ever _alive_. For this place to be able to resurrect me like this…”

“Well, it did have help,” Merle said. “Your goddess did like, half of the work, right?”

“I guess so.” Kravitz didn’t look convinced. “It still doesn’t bode well for whatever happened to Taako…” A slip of smoke escaped him, and he frowned. “Dammit.”

“You’ll get used to that. Look,” Magnus lowered his voice. “We just have to play the game and look for an opportunity to grab Taako and run. Pretty sure we can all agree they’re not going to play fair. In the meantime, I guess, try and see if we can figure out what happened to his memory?” He turned to Kravitz. “When you were researching, did any of the other elves forget about their past?”

He shook his head. “I don’t know for sure, I never saw things through their eyes. I couldn’t tell you.”

“Alright, no use worrying over things we can’t control.” Magnus jerked a thumb in the direction of the door. “Shall we see what’s next?”

“I suppose we don’t have much of a choice,” Kravitz said, leaning on his scythe. Magnus looked over at him skeptically.

“You gonna be okay?”

He chuckled dryly. “As okay as I’ll be. It’s not so different than possessing golems, there’s just… more to it.”

“Well, if you’re sure…” Magnus said, turning towards the door. The three of them passed through into another pitch-black room, the door vanishing as they did. The lights came on with a snap (Magnus winced, unused to adjusting with dark-vision), and Taako stood, right behind a platform with two buttons, and a screen behind them with their faces, all lit up.

“Now, you’re familiar with this setup,” Taako started with a smile. “You have the chance to make this next battle very easy for yourself… or very, very hard.” Merle and Magnus both groaned, and twin wisps of smoke floated up to the ceiling. Taako’s grin widened. “Aww, don’t be like that! You know what you have to do to make it easy on yourself.”

Kravitz nodded to himself. He’d seen this game before, through the memories of the deceased, and he knew how it went. Trust may yield the best potential result, but they couldn’t risk gambling their chances. They’d need everything they had to get Taako back.

“Now then-  let’s see who’s up to choose for your party!” Taako vanished, and their faces on the screen lit up, one by one, over and over, slowing down until –

“Kravitz! It looks like you’ll get to do the honors.” Taako reappeared, hovering beside him and patting him on the shoulder. “Lucky you, first time player, first spin on the wheel, and first to choose in Trust or Forsake!” Abruptly, his manic grin grew sharper, and he leaned in, eye to eye with Kravitz. “I wonder what else you’ll be first for,” he said ominously, before teleporting away again, gesturing grandly to the podium. “Since it’s your first time, handsome, I can give you an explanation if you’d like.”

“I’m aware of how the game works, Taako.”

Taako tittered. “Then you’ll be sure to make the right choice, won’t you?” He vanished, leaving the three of them alone with the buttons.

As Kravitz stepped up to them, Magnus spoke up. “Which one are you going to pick?”

Kravitz looked back at him. “Forsake, of course. Magnus winced, and he frowned. “Is there something wrong with that?”

Magnus wrung his hands. “That’s- that’s gonna screw someone else over, then.”

Kravitz pursed his lips. “I’m well aware.”

“And you’re alright with that?”

“Magnus,” Kravitz said, a note of exasperation in his voice, “we’re here to get Taako back. This place is too dangerous to hedge bets on the kindness of others, and we need to stack the odds in our favor every chance we get.” Magnus’s face was set into a stubborn frown, and Kravitz sighed, glancing over at Merle. “Merle, you’re… pragmatic, back me up on this.”

Merle gave him a look that suggested he didn’t appreciate being dragged into this, and reached up to pat Magnus on the hip. “Bud, I’m with Magnus on this one. We’re not going to win this by playing the game the way they want us to.”

“Yeah, not to mention it’s like, bad.”

“Magnus, Merle, I’ve seen hundreds of instances of these games, through the eyes of those that survived them, survived this place, to make it to a natural death and an afterlife in the Astral Realm. Those people had to nudge things in their favor, and… well, most people pick forsake.”

“So, we should too?” Magnus crossed his arms. “With that attitude, of course everyone would pick forsake – you’d be no better than the people who want to screw over the other teams.”

“I never said it was the fairest option,” Kravitz said. “Just that it’s our best option if we want to get Taako back.”

Magnus frowned, conflicted now. “I still don’t like it. It’s…” Magnus trailed off.

Kravitz understood where Magnus was coming from – Taako had told him about Magnus’s “hero complex,” his bizarre (to Taako) desire to protect others, shield them, right wrongs and do good. But, Kravitz came from a different system of right and wrong, where he had to weigh and balance good deeds and wicked ones, examine the cost vs benefits to capture and rehabilitate the souls of the eternal stockade properly. And right now, he was on a mission from his goddess to rescue Taako, to figure out what was happening in Wonderland, and he couldn’t knowingly throw away an advantage. “I’m sorry, Magnus, but it’s not your choice.”

And he pressed forsake.

 

—

 

The Wheel.

The Choice.

The Game.

Again. And again. And again.

That’s all it was, Syd thought angrily to herself, growing ever more frustrated as the smoke flowing from her clouded her vision. A never-ending cycle of bullshit, with some dodgy flair-elf goading them on. She couldn’t figure out what the purpose behind it all was, but she knew one thing.

She was fucking _done_ with it.

Around the arena, Hrrn and Chrak were regrouping, too. The fights, the games, had become more brutal as time went on, and they were hurting. They were hurting real bad.

Slowly, she pushed herself back to her feet, rolling her shoulders and neck and trying to will away the pain she felt.

She just about jumped out of her skin when something nudged her foot.

Hrrn looked over sharply at her cry, but Syd was busy staring at the object by her feet.

On the ground, an umbrella gently but insistently rolled into her boot again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember that funny thing I said a million years ago about not having spoilers for past Wonderland in here?
> 
> A lich held me up at gunpoint to change it.
> 
> Cover art by TomatoTimes on Tumblr, @tomato_times on Twitter <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 Thank you Tomato!


	8. Brochures and Battleboars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys are flying through Wonderland's challenges, only a little worse for the wear... mostly. 
> 
> Lucretia tries to think of a plan B. Magnus turns down a collector's item. Merle antagonizes an elf. Kravitz becomes an official member of the team.

Madame Director, head of the Bureau of Balance, sat in her office, going over her papers. In front of her were reports, eye-witness accounts she had secretly accumulated over the years, compared and cross-examined with hearsay and rumor to compile the best possible record she could make without seeing it herself.

It hadn’t helped her much when she’d gone through Wonderland, but at least she’d returned, alive.

She picked up another report, seeking some clue about Taako’s abduction, but her tired eyes slid off the words, half a symptom of her age, half a result of too many hours work. After two attempted read-throughs, she sighed, putting it aside and putting her face in one hand.

Behind her, her portrait loomed large over her, the imposing visage of the cool, collected woman who led this secret operation; she alone could see through the illusion magics she had placed upon it, one level that revealed how she had appeared before her moment of hubris, before Wonderland.

The other… the other revealed her family. And how that family was dwindling before her eyes.

She kept up the charade of a collected Director for a moment longer before giving in, slumping forward, head cradled in her hands. First Lup, then Barry, and now, Taako might be gone as well. She had known how dangerous Wonderland was, and still, she’d sent them in.

“I did everything I could to prepare them,” she said aloud, her voice still cool and steady. “They were trained for this, we were running out of time, and they were ready…”

But not ready enough.

There was a prickling at the corners of her eyes, the threat of tears – but she took a deep breath, exercised the self-control she had practiced to perfection through the last ten years, and the sensation vanished. She sat up again, brushed at her eyes and tucked her hair back behind her ear from where it had fallen. There was a time and place for self-pity, and she had given it up when she’d started her plan. Right now, she needed to focus on what she could do to get Taako back.

A small shiver ran through her as she thought about how the boys had looked when they’d come back, and how exhausted Magnus had seemed only an hour or so ago, when he’d stopped by to talk to her, and that inscrutable look he’d had. She knew it was only a matter of time before they tried to take action, but she couldn’t send them back. She couldn’t – wouldn’t – allow them.

Buried beneath all her reports, there was another file that she was acutely aware of. She had been working on it when Magnus had come in, had put it to the side shortly afterward. Taako’s life file.

They were all she had left. Magnus, Merle, Davenport… if Taako was gone, they were all she had left, and she couldn’t afford to lose them… she could help them get by, if they just didn’t remember he was missing, then –

She took another deep breath, steadying herself. Taako wasn’t gone – not yet. He was simply missing in action, and he was a powerful, unpredictable wizard – maybe not what he used to be, but still a formidable force in his own right. He was a survivor, and he’d find a way to stay afloat. She just needed to give him the help she could to get him out, and then none of this would be a concern. She’d be back on her original plan.

She looked over her reports again, wheels turning anew at this new burst of motivation. Magnus and Merle had returned with the Bell, a powerful necromantic artifact. She had no doubt that if it had been in Wonderland, it had been used by whoever or whatever ran that nightmarish place. She wasn’t sure why they’d give it up – maybe they’d underestimated its power, or been unable to use it? Or maybe it had been bait for a trap that had only partially worked?

Either way, it was out of their hands now, and if they had been using it to run Wonderland, it would be weaker now.

“We could mobilize en-masse,” she murmured thoughtfully to herself. “No Bell, no need to worry about the thrall, and without it, Wonderland might not be able to deflect a fighting force. Get some wizards on board for support, and- “

“Davenport?”

She looked up at the muffled sound of her name outside her door, and squashed the newly awakened wave of guilt that hit her. “Come in, Davenport,” she called. The large door swung open, and there stood the shadow of her captain, holding a glowing stone of farspeech and a report, looking grim. He trotted over, carefully depositing the stone on her desk and handing her the papers. “Davenport.”

She frowned, accepting them. She had put Davenport on duty taking the regular reports from the Regulator team (and Angus, she couldn’t find it in her to say no to that face, not when he looked up to Taako so much). If he was worried, then…

Her eyes skimmed over the paper, her senses going numb as she did. This wasn’t a report.

To anyone else, it may have been static: a mash of word and images that the eyes of the uninitiated would slide over.

To Lucretia, it was a prize poster.

And on it was her family.

 

\--

 

Taako took in a deep breath, savoring the smoky air. He had sort of been hoping that the trio would pick “Trust” on the first round – new groups usually did, or so Jessie and James had told him – and he’d get a chance to really hit them hard right off the bat. Unfortunately, they weren’t a new group, and the one who’d gotten to choose, Kravitz, cared more about winning the prize than following any sort of morals.

Taako could admit, he was a little flattered. Not enough to take it easier on them, but. It was nice to be wanted.

And speaking of wanted, a chill curled in the air around him, and his eyes fluttered, lips falling into a lax smile. Hanging in midair, he leaned back, and the cool presence of the Ringmaster pushed back, supporting him in its grasp. “What’s up?” he murmured, and instantly the cold, numb sensation at the back of his mind spread, flooding through him in delightful contrast to the warmth he exuded. In its own way, the Ringmaster communicated to him, several threads of its necrotic web drifting into Taako’s space, and when he traced his fingers over it, the visions changed. Now, he saw the older woman he had seen before, sitting in an office before a large portrait of herself, and six others. His own face, and one identical to his, was among them.

“…” The press against his consciousness was insistent, though he could never deny his Ringmaster anything within his power to give, and so he mentally stepped back with a bow, allowing it entry.

Distantly, he was aware that something was being taken from him. His hands still rested upon the shining web of suffering, but the image before him shifted, the portrait becoming blurry as the Ringmaster took it from him… a burden, it told him, one he would no longer have to bear.

His lax smile grew in giddy delight, and Taako laughed, freed. The sensation of being rummaged through continued, and Taako could feel interest radiating off his master, through all his senses, and was pleased to be so useful to it.

It traced the web through Taako’s hands, and Taako felt a force of power, one growing as the Ringmaster pushed through him, and he obediently tightened his grip on the strands of energy under his hands, felt this arcane energy push through him, into the web, with all the new information the Ringmaster had taken from him.

The scene changed, again. A small gnomish man with an impressive red mustache entered the picture, carrying a paper that radiated with Wonderland’s magic. Taako watched with anticipation and mounting glee, half knowing what to expect, half dying to find out.

The woman took the paper, looking over it, and it was clear from her expression it wasn’t what she was expecting.

Under his palms, the web pulsed suddenly with light, and Taako watched, amazed and impressed as always, as gray smoke sizzled up from its surface. If he hadn’t been a projection, his mouth might have watered at the sight of it. As it was, he allowed himself an indulgent inhalation, wisps of the woman’s suffering becoming part of his being, and he savored it.

(For a brief moment, he had the thought that he was missing something, that this woman’s suffering should mean more to him… but a wash of ice pushed those thoughts away, and he threw himself headlong into that, instead.)

Deed done, the vision faded away again, leaving him and the Ringmaster, looming unseen high over the arena below, where the three adventurers seeking him as a prize fought a venomous arcane battle boar. He could see the trickles of smoke that wafted away from them as they fought – it wasn’t a particularly tough battle, thanks to their choice to Forsake, but it still stood between them and their goals, and no challenge in Wonderland was ever truly easy. Moreover, he could see the threads that lay invisible to them, stretching out away from them to anchor themselves on the walls of Wonderland. With each bit of suffering, the Ringmaster (and, by extension, the Wonderland Elves) wove a tighter and tighter web around their very souls.

Taako laughed again, allowing his voice to project over the battlefield as Magnus performed an excellent maneuver, taking a chunk out of the side of the battle boar. “Good hit, Magnus!” he cheered, watching with manic pleasure as the sheer sound of his voice pulled suffering from the human. Another strand lashed him to Wonderland, and Taako admired how much they looked like flies in a web.

The Ringmaster brushed through him again, and his skin prickled at the shivers of delight it sent through him. He adored receiving so much attention from it – at first, he had been wary, almost scared to meet the Ringmaster on his own, but now, he could hardly remember how he could have ever felt that way. The Ringmaster’s goals were his goals, Its aims were his aims, and his senses, his magic, his cunning, his very being – were all Its to command. Another brush, more insistent, brought him down a little from the euphoric headspace in which he’d been floating. He opened his eyes again, watched as the negative space in the smoke reached forward, plucking one of the tendrils of light leading to his contestants – Kravitz, specifically. The Grim Reaper.

The light echoed strangely, a deeper thrum than the more soprano tones that most souls ensnared themselves with, and as a master arcanist, Taako didn’t need to look far to see the source. A connection with a god, even severed, had its weight.

The Ringmaster plucked the strings of Merle and Magnus as well, both echoing that lower tone – the connections to Pan and Istus – before it flooded through him again, like drowning under an ice floe. For a moment, he spasmed, mannequin-esque, trying to adjust, but the Ringmaster took care of that for him, too, opened his eyes for him and let him see what it saw.

From the contestants sprang their web of misery – and from that web, tiny, almost imperceptible threads stretched away. Taako reached to idly trace one, before a flash of cold so intense it burned made him recoil, his cries of pain muffled by a freezing pressure that forced his mouth shut. It held him tightly there for a moment, admonishing, before uncoiling from around him, reaching out to demonstrate what he had been trying to see.

An invisible force touched the string, and Taako could see an endless sea, an island with a dark, foreboding fortress, and a Queen attended by her entourage of Ravens, looking out over the still, iridescent waters… before turning and staring straight at him through the vision.

As one he and the Ringmaster recoiled, but before fear or awe could take him, the Ringmaster’s hunger surged through him instead.

These three were anchored to the gods themselves, in a way no other Wonderland contestant (save himself) had been. And Taako realized the mission he’d been given, and accepted it joyfully.

 

Kravitz was very glad his choice had been justified. For all his talk about the necessity of stacking the odds in their favor, he would have felt guilty about leaving some trusting group to fight a doubled battle, especially now that he knew how tough it could get.

He darted out of the way as best he could, drawing the attention of the Battle boar. It turned to face him, eyes swirling with purple arcane energy, its sides heaving as ichor sludged down from the cuts he and Magnus had been dealing it. When it roared, magic crackled between its tusks, before it lowered its head, preparing to charge.

“Magnus, now!”

Distracted as it was, it didn’t see the fighter running in, didn’t notice Magnus at all until there was an axe buried in its side. The roar became an enraged squeal, and Kravitz winced as the sound reverberated through the room. Magnus swung again, and again, before it finally stopped struggling. It fell to the floor, sides still heaving, twitching its head this way and that, as if it was still trying to gore them with its venomous tusks – not something that was particularly pleasant, as he’d unfortunately found out. Finally, thankfully, it fell still, and Kravitz heaved a sigh of relief, leaning heavily on his scythe.

“Cure poison,” he heard Merle mutter beside him, and felt a wash of energy purge his system, ridding him of the nauseous feeling swirling in his gut.

“Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it,” Merle said, sounding pleased. “Magnus, you need anything?”

“I’m good, thanks,” he called, hidden behind the Battle boar. “Also, ew.”

A small fanfare played above them, followed by Taako’s voice. “Congratulations, you’ve won your first challenge here in Wonderland! And quite impressively, too. Kravitz, I was really a fan of how you distracted it by diving head-first into the path of a rampaging poisonous boar and getting stabbed, and Merle, excellent field control! You did a really fantastic job of making sure it didn’t want to come into that specific corner of the room, well done.”

Merle rolled his eye. “Gee, thanks.”

In the center of the room, the boar slowly began to disintegrate, smoke peeling off it and floating back up to the ceiling. Kravitz watched as it did. It was a common thread he’d seen in the memories of those in Wonderland, though most of them had chosen to ignore it, chalking it up as one more terror to overcome to win their prize. Magnus and Merle seemed to think it was important, though, and Kravitz was inclined to agree. This smoke seemed to be attached solely to negative emotions, and emotion-based magic like that was often tied to necromancers and liches. He wished he still had the senses granted to him by the Raven Queen – if this place was turning people into liches, it would explain why the Animus Bell had been here, and why the Raven Queen couldn’t get in.

Though, it still didn’t explain why other gods couldn’t send their avatars here, and something about the whole thing irked him. He’d have to keep looking for clues.

Magnus’s gasp broke him from his thoughts, and he whirled toward him, scythe coming up to fend off whatever new threat had arrived… but Magnus was looking towards where the Battle boar’s corpse had been, his face greening. Kravitz slowly turned to see, bracing himself.

A lithe, jewelry-clad arm lay limply on the ground, and Kravitz recognized the rings instantly. Beside him, Merle gagged.

“What’s the matter, boys?” a voice echoed from above, and Kravitz couldn’t shake the disjointed sensation of seeing Taako’s dismembered arm, laying there, while he spoke in an almost distracted, bored tone. “You won the fight, where’s the- Oh!” Taako appeared, as abruptly as ever, and picked up the arm, examining it with a carelessness that made Kravitz’s stomach churn. “Huh! I wondered where this had gotten!”

Then, to everyone’s mounting revulsion, he pulled a ring off one finger, tossing his own arm back into the dirt. Delicately, he slid it onto his own finger, admiring it casually. “Do you know how hard it is to find rubies cut this finely? Pretty difficult. I thought I had lost it when I got here!” He spared a glance down at the arm. “Hm, I guess it got mixed in with the Monster Factory stuff. No worries, though – I’m sure the beasties we cook up for these challenges had a good snack of it.”

“Taako,” Magnus said, bringing the former wizard’s attention back to him. “Taako, that’s… that’s your arm.”

“I’m well aware, big boy,” Taako drawled, buffing the surface of the ruby against his chest and examining it again with a frown. “It’s dead weight, got rid of it a long time ago. Say…” He looked up sharply, eyes locking on Magnus. A smile slipped over his lips, but failed to reach his eyes. “You like collecting arms, don’t you? How about another freebie, on the house?” He reached down, snagging the arm and hefting it up. “Hey, think fast!” 

Magnus instinctively went to catch it before his brain caught up with exactly what he was catching, and he fumbled with it for a moment, the bracelets around the limb’s wrist clinking and chiming grotesquely as it finally fell to the ground in front of him. Magnus looked down at the arm, then back up at Taako, who gave him a mocking pout.

“What’s the matter? I thought disembodied arms were your fetish,” he teased, before laughing, vanishing once again. “Oh well, your loss! Head on over to the next challenge, heroes!”

 

The next room was the wheel again, but Merle had expected that. Wonderland got a little predictable after a bit, a cycle of Wheel, Trust/Forsake, and Challenge, with occasional “Bonus” rounds sprinkled throughout whenever their hosts got bored.

Well, host, now, he thought, glancing around the room as if it would make the elf materialize; he had been really worried, when they’d first arrived. Taako had been too much like himself, and he had a hard time shaking the fear that maybe, Taako had chosen to stay behind, regardless of what Kravitz or Magnus or the Director or anyone else had to say.

But his behavior in the last two rooms had been strange, even for Taako – and then, there was that debacle with the arm that had cinched it for him.

Whatever was happening, Taako wasn’t in control here. And that belief made it surprisingly easy to let his comments roll off his back. When Taako was himself again, they could tease him about this, he could apologize… Not in so many words, maybe, but Merle suspected he’d find the fridge stocked with his and Magnus’s favorite snacks at some point in the future.

He frowned as a spotlight lit up, displaying the Wheel, but didn’t say anything. They had to focus on getting Taako back, and back to life, first. “Alright, you know the deal, boyos – round two gets a little more complicated!” Three lights lit up above the Wheel, and Taako stepped out from behind it, leaning fantasy-Vanna White style against it and smirking at them. “Who’s up first?”

Magnus stepped forward first, to no one’s surprise, not saying anything as he spun the wheel. He stoically avoided looking over at Taako, who merely raised an eyebrow at him. Merle knew he was trying his best to keep it together. They all were.

“Your spin is… Backpack!” Taako announced cheerily. “Hm, that’s a tough one, isn’t it? You have so many goodies to choose from, what’s even appropriate at this level…?” He thought it over a moment longer, then snapped his fingers. “Ah, here’s a good one: If you take this sacrifice, you will lose your Tarantula’s Bracelet. Will you-?”

“Accepted,” Magnus said before he could even finish. Taako’s eyebrows shot up, and he grinned greedily.

“Well, someone’s eager,” he said, gesturing to the wheel again. “Go ahead and drop off your sacrifice!”

Magnus reached into his pack pulled out the bracelet, and placed it on the wheel, where it vanished in a cloud of smoke. Above the wheel, one of the three lights went out, and Taako turned to the rest of the group. “Who’s next?”

Merle stepped forward, knowing Magnus would take all three if he thought he could. Better to spread it around, though. “I’ll take a spin,” he said, and Kravitz stepped up next to him, preparing for his own turn.

The wheel slowed, clicking to a halt on Brain. He grimaced, then smoothed his expression when a smidgen of smoke escaped him. Dammit.

Taako snickered. “Well, it’s gonna be slim pickings on this one, huh? I think I have a good one that you’re going to appreciate, though. Merle,” and he steepled his fingers together, still leaning against the wheel. “If you accept this sacrifice, you’ll lose… the memory of your ex-wife. It’ll be like you never married her.” He tittered again, tapping his fingers together. “Sounds pretty dope, honestly.”

“No deal,” Merle said firmly. Beside him, Kravitz made a note of disbelief.

“Merle, it’s your _ex_ -wife,” he said in a hushed whisper. “That’s not exactly choice memories…”

Merle turned, fixing Kravitz with a look. “She brought my kids into my life,” he replied. Next to the wheel, Taako’s expression flickered with disappointment and annoyance. “And that clever wording, like I never married her? I ain’t losing my kids.” Magnus thumped his shoulder, and Kravitz nodded slowly, understanding. He looked over at Taako again. “No deal.”

“How sweet,” Taako said, his tone saying something completely different. “I’m honestly a little surprised that you’d give them that much thought after you, y’know… abandoned them and shit. But I guess even crotchety old farts can change.” Another light went up over the wheel. “Unfortunately, that is a penalty. Want to take another spin, try to be a little useful to your team for once?”

“I was pretty useful when I kept you all from turning to tourmaline by grabbing that crystal!” he countered.

(Next to him, Kravitz exhaled a little smoke, and he remembered exactly who had put that crystal there. Whoops.)

“Sure, Magnus didn’t turn to crystal, but it certainly didn’t do you any favors,” Taako snarked. “Are you gonna spin or what, short stuff?”

“Still gonna pretend you weren’t there, huh?” Merle sighed. Taako shrugged, bored.

“I wasn’t, half pint,” Taako said, examining his nails in a sudden show of nonchalance. “It was just you and big-beef over there. And Kravitz, technically.”

“I remember it differently. You were helping Magnus burn through the door to get to Carey and Killian, remember?”

“Your memory going in your age, old man?” Taako laughed again, echoing and hollow. “Cute that you’d make up a fantasy about me adventuring with you, but you gotta watch out, playing into senility.”

“You’re probably older than I am, Taako, you’re the one going senile!” It was an old argument they had, where Taako constantly changed how old he said he was depending on the circumstances, and Merle objected to being called “old” when a mature elf was middle aged for a dwarf. The argument always followed the same pattern – he wanted to see if this “charmed” version of Taako acted the same way. “What are you, like, 300?”

“156, and you know it, Merle!” Taako snapped back, more teeth in it than he usually would have, but still par for the course. “I’ve told you this a hundred times, you- you-“ His expression flickered again, this time with blinking confusion as he stuttered off. For a second, Merle saw his eyes glaze, then clear again, and he looked over at the group, as if he’d forgotten they were there. The lines of irritation in his face smoothed into a TV-ready smile, but when he spoke, his words were poisonous, and his eyes glared right at Merle.

“Take your damn spin.”

And he vanished.

Magnus, and Kravitz glanced at each other, equally confused, before looking back at Merle, who smiled smugly.

 “Yeah, I’ll take my spin again.” He reached out, and spun.

“Body. If you accept this sacrifice, you’ll lose some of your vitality,” Taako snipped, without the flair or panache he’d had before.

“Accept.” He wheezed a little as a discomfiting sensation crawled over him, like he was being squeezed, and he felt a little woozy. Some smoke escaped him, but he still counted it as a win – he’d found out what he wanted to know.

Magnus and Kravitz were still giving him strange looks, and he looked up at them and shrugged. “I’ll tell you later,” he mouthed.

Over the wheel, two lights remained. “Who’s next.”

The last two sacrifices were more brutal, Merle noticed. Kravitz took the first and became entirely colorblind (“It’s alright – with your wardrobe, you don’t really need to see colors to pick your outfits, right?”), then Magnus spun body and seemed to physically shrink as his vitality was stripped from him, more so than Merle felt it had for him. Still, they’d passed this challenge, and the wheel vanished, Taako’s voice echoing overhead. “Well, you’ve passed this one, go on through to the next room.” He seemed to have recovered somewhat from his strange little hiccup earlier, but Merle was counting on that hiccup.

The three of them waited a moment, listening to see if Taako would say anything else, before Magnus turned to Merle. “Merle, what the heck? Are you trying to antagonize him?”

Merle shook his head. “Let’s hop in the Pocket Workshop™ – we need a huddle.” 

A minute later, sitting together in the Pocket Workshop™, Kravitz turned to him. “Did you figure something out?”

“I have a theory,” Merle started, and Magnus grimaced a little. “Hey, don’t knock it till you’ve heard it!” He waited until Magnus looked appropriately sheepish before continuing. “Whatever is controlling Taako, it’s probably keeping him from remembering us, right?”

“That… seems to be the case, yes,” Kravitz said slowly.

“Right, okay, so – how many times do you think someone came back to get their elf-buddies back? Actually got to speak to them?”

Magnus shrugged, and looked over at Kravitz – that was right, Kravitz said he’d seen other adventuring groups through Wonderland. The former reaper looked uncomfortable, and turned his gaze to the ground. “None of them.”

“So, none of them had a chance to be reminded who they were, right?”

Magnus’s brows creased in thought, and Kravitz cocked his head to the side. “…no, I suppose not,” he said slowly. “What are you proposing?”

“I think, if we can get Taako to remember who we are, and who he is, we might be able to break him of whatever mind-control he’s got going on.” He looked between the two of them. “That sound like a plan?”

Kravitz nodded slowly. “It’s not a bad place to start… we don’t know if Wonderland will actually let us win him back. It let you have the Bell, but it seems like it traded it in order to get Taako, so…”

“So, we can’t play by Wonderland’s rules,” Magnus finished. “We’ve got to figure out a way to bust Taako free of whatever’s in his head, then break out.”

“Yeah!” Merle smiled, feeling hopeful despite the situation. “We just need to get his memories back to him.”

“Something that could block his memories would have to be awfully strong,” Kravitz mused. “Your organization works with the Voidfish, but even that doesn’t affect the dead.”

“It might be limited to the elves it has captive, though,” Magnus pointed out.

“True…” Kravitz frowned. “There’s also the issue of how it’s keeping Taako animated. If Taako’s just a bound spirit and we free him, and he goes straight to the Astral Plane, you’re going to have a tough time working out a deal with the Raven Queen to get him back. On the other hand, if he’s some kind of undead, then we have a whole host of other problems…”

“We can figure it out, though,” Merle said. “I mean, you know about ghosts and shit, that’s your job, right?”

“It’s… a little rude to refer to it as “ghosts and shit,” but yes, the undead and souls in the afterlife.”

“So, can’t you just tell what kind of undead he is?”

Kravitz winced. “I… don’t have quite the full range of powers I had as a bounty hunter of the Raven Queen. If I were still… well… dead, I would be able to see him as he was. Like this… I can only really guess.”

“How hard will it be to guess?” Merle asked.

“Depends on what kind of undead he is.”

“Okay, so…” Magnus started, slowly. “What I’m hearing for our plan – Merle and I will try and help Taako remember anything, while you try and figure out what kind of undead he is? And once we’ve figured that out, we can move on?”

Kravitz nodded. “If you can get him to remember, he may be able to tell us himself,” he added.

“We just can’t let any of the other elves get word of it,” Merle said. “We don’t know if they can see our games, or if every group of adventurers gets their own guide through Wonderland, but… we can’t let them stop us from seeing Taako.”

Magnus and Kravitz nodded in agreement, and Merle put his soulwood arm in. “Alright, we’ve got our game plan. Let’s go!”

Magnus put his arm in, grinning… and the two of them turned and looked expectantly at Kravitz, who blinked owlishly at them before realizing they were waiting for him. Flustered, his own cool hand joined theirs, and Magnus called out “Tres Horny Boys, Break!”

“Please don’t implicate me in that name.”

 

Above the three of them, listening at the mouth of the Pocket Workshop™, someone grinned maliciously before vanishing into the smoke.

All according to plan…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait on this one! NaNoWriMo started out real strong, but petered off at the end thanks to other stuff :/ and I haven't had a lot of time/energy for editing.
> 
> I think this is only gonna be another 3-4 chapters, plus an epilogue or two. We'll see how it goes.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who waited for this! :D

**Author's Note:**

> You can all thank GlitchedWitch for this because it wouldn't have existed otherwise.  
> Or not thank her. Depending.


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